What If I Don’t Find The Right Person?

June 15, 2016

Are you in love? Have you found that ideal person you’d like to spend your life with and get old with? If so, congratulations! You’re one of the lucky ones. If that isn’t the case, don’t worry, there are millions like you in the world.

Today I want to talk about this very matter and all the stress it causes. Because let’s face it, at some point in life you start to wonder “what if I can’t find the right person?”

Concepts such as “the ideal person” and “your other half” are common stereotypes. Disney tales and romantic movies have one thing in common: the idea of the prince who falls for the princess and live happily ever after. And that has left big problems for women and men of all generations.

The recipe for the right person

boy holding a girl in his arms 1

Fashion, television and the environment around us tells us that the right person has certain attributes. The media and society determine how the ideal person should be, which characterizes them as:

  • In women: sweet people, they need to be cared for, protected and, to some extent spoiled. Of course, willing to do a lot (sometimes too much) for her man.
  • In men: they should be formal, funny, strong. Able to protect women they love and avoid being sentimental. If you happen to also have a certain economic fortune, well, now we’re really talking.

And after adding to these features the things you personally love, you’ll have the man or woman who will make you happy forever. Everything sounds great, right? But reality is very different and that’s why right after dating several guys or girls you realize that your ideal person does not appear anywhere.

And that’s why we ask for so much that at some point the mixture doesn’t end up sticking. The problem with the stereotypes we look for is that they are so general and combine characteristics that are so opposite that they become impossible to achieve…

The ideal person is already in your life

Before I told you about the stereotypes that are sought in the right person and usually do not work because they are impossible to achieve. Now let’s talk about the person you have right there and who certainly strives for perfection: you.

How many times have you found yourself in front of the mirror angry because you don’t have what you think you should? How many times have you remained silent to not look weak when you really wanted to say that you were upset?

This is more common than we accept and it is part of what makes us unique. But surely you have not thought that the ideal person for you is yourself…

symbolic scene of a woman in front of a mirror

Maybe it sounds weird, but in the end the only person who is always with you is looking right at you in the mirror. Only when you learn to love yourself and fall in love with yourself, can you expect someone else to see what’s wonderful about you. The keys to achieving this are:

  • Know yourself. Take time to discover who you are and what you expect of yourself. Allow yourself to know your skills and discover your fears. Fall in love with yourself! If you don’t love yourself, how do you expect someone else to?
  • Expand your circle of friends. Sometimes we convince ourselves that some things are true because we have not tried something new. Take the opportunity to make new friends and live with people you usually would not.
  • Accept pain. Now if a relationship did not work, accept that others will come who will teach you something also. It is inevitable that there will be times that we don’t come out unscathed from some relationshipsbut only you can choose whether you focus on suffering or learn and continue. Don’t just stick to what you’ve learned, go beyond the first suffering.

The ideal person comes unsought

In the end you’re not the only one who waits for that person who makes you smile just by thinking about them. The important thing is that you take your time and get ready for when they come into your life. For now concentrate on living, on being yourself and learning to be a better person. So when they arrive, they will find that you are also their ideal person…