3 Reasons Not to Solve Other People's Problems
Helping others is not as positive as it may seem. Yes, you’re simply trying to fill a shortcoming or help them avoid suffering. However, you shouldn’t solve other people’s problems because you end up hurting them.
Neither deprivation nor suffering are intrinsically negative. In fact, we often find our inner strength through dissatisfaction and pain. Therefore, you shouldn’t solve other people’s problems because you’re getting in the way of their personal growth.
“Give a man a fish and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish and he eats for a lifetime.”
-Confucius-
The only reason why you should solve someone else’s problem is if they’re physically or mentally unable to do it on their own. This would be the case with children or people who have some type of impairment that makes them dependent on others. You shouldn’t do it in all other cases because you cause them to lose a great deal. Let’s look at three reasons why you shouldn’t solve other people’s problems.
1. You inhibit their resilience and ingenuity
We’re not born with the ability to solve problems and find solutions. We learn and develop this with practice. This ability has cognitive aspects as well as those that arise from emotion and attitude. This means that humans can’t achieve this overnight!
The only way to develop the ability to solve problems is to face them. Yes, it’s obviously much more comfortable for someone to do it for you. But this makes you be more insecure and dependent.
You shouldn’t solve other people’s problems because you limit the development of their ingenuity and resilience. These qualities are very important to our survival. They allow us to fly instead of being tied down.
2. It hinders growth and fosters dependence
This aspect is very closely related to the first one. What happens when someone has another person who always gets them out of trouble? They simply don’t grow nor evolve. They stay intellectually immature. Their emotions, feelings, and behaviors don’t develop either.
This has a series of consequences. First of all, people who don’t solve their own problems often become temperamental and demanding. In fact, they may not appreciate the support they’re given because they feel like it’s your duty to help them.
Since they’re spoiled in such a way, they don’t learn how to earn things with their own effort. Having to put in the work may even be uncomfortable for them. This just creates a selfish, inconsiderate person. This is yet another reason why you shouldn’t solve other people’s problems.
3. Do you know what’s best?
This is one of the main reasons you shouldn’t solve other people’s problems. What makes you think you know what’s best for them? You see the world and problems through your own eyes. However, other people have different perspectives.
What’s good for one person may not be good for another. Everyone must take their own path. This path should satisfy you and allow you to become the best person you can be. However, this is something no one else can do for you. It’s impossible to completely fill someone else’s shoes.
Sometimes, the best intentions lead to the worse damage. No one has the right to impose their solutions to someone else’s problem. It might introduce new problems or aggravate what’s already there.
Solving other people’s problems is not a good idea because they will end up not trusting their own abilities. If you want to help, offer your support but allow them to make their own decisions and create their own destiny.
All cited sources were thoroughly reviewed by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, currency, and validity. The bibliography of this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.
- Rodríguez de Medina Quevedo, I. (2013). La dependencia emocional en las relaciones interpersonales.
- Bielli, L. (2017). «El precio de ayudar a los demás». Burn out: causas, impacto y consecuencias en los trabajadores de la salud mental de un hospital psiquiátrico monovalente de Mendoza.
