Free Yourself From the Pain of High Expectations

We are experts in making a world out of the ideas in our heads. When you go to college, you expect to find a great job as soon as you get out. If you’re in a relationship you get excited about how your life will be with that person. And so we go through life, waiting for the best possible scenario.

This is not all bad. On the contrary, having goals is necessary for a successful life. If you do not you challenge yourself, you won’t advance.

The problem is that we are not always realistic with what we want. When our expectations are too high, we can be disappointed when faced with the reality. If you focus on things step by step, you avoid the pain of not reaching high expectations.

Create realistic goals

To avoid the pain of excessively high expectations you need to focus on realistic goals. The secret is to find a balance between your highest ambitions and your chances. I’m not saying you cannot achieve the high goal you set for yourself. But you cannot expect to have immediate success with little effort.

Think about people you admire and you will notice that all of them have advanced step by step. Before planning the wedding and the names of the children you will have with your partner, spend the first six months with him.

When you put all of your attention into achieving small goals, you create the perfect path to the finish line.

Set your own system for measuring success

Many of the high expectations we have come from our education. If you were taught at home that you’re only successful if you have the newest car and a big house, that is what you will seek.

But have you thought about what is success means to you? How do you measure it?

It’s hard to believe but you can find people with a lot of the outward signs of success, but little emotional satisfaction.

Maybe after you buy that big house in a luxury development you realize the debt you assumed makes you unhappy. In this case, the emotional and financial pain will be enormous.

Stop and think about how you can measure success. You can do it based on:

• The number of people around you and who you care about.
• The amount of money you have in your bank account.
• The hours you spend with family.

These are just a few options, you must find your own without feeling pressured by others.

Aspirations are important in life

I don’t want you to think that you should reduce the high expectations in your life. On the contrary, they will make you progress and become a better person.

The point is that you only evolve when you set goals for what you want and what makes you happy. If along the way you forget about yourself and what you want, pain will be inevitable.

No matter what happens, remember that the protagonist of your story is you and you should not let anything take that role away from you.