I'm Not Sure How, But I Will Get Through This

I'm Not Sure How, But I Will Get Through This
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

I don’t know how I am going to get out of this black hole I’m in. Sometimes life fogs up all the crossroads and makes me feel like it’s the end of the world.

But I know that this feeling comes from having my vision clouded by all the negative thoughts creeping up on me. Deep down, I know for sure that I will be able to get through this. Because I’ve felt like this before, and I’ve managed to overcome it.

Now that I have some perspective, I can see that a lot of times I overreacted. The situations didn’t pose any real danger, after all.

The biggest drama in the moment was the drama I created in my own mind. Even so, there are still a lot of beliefs and perspectives I need to review. Somehow, I have to find peace.

I will get through this, as long as I confront my fears. I have to let go of the idea that fear is a reason to give up.

Endings are also new beginnings

We are scared of endings. It’s sad when our favorite show or book ends. When a relationship ends, we’re scared it will destroy our idea of love for the rest of our lives. We try to avoid these feelings at all cost.

However, that kind of behavior prevents us from making decisions that would actually benefit us. For example, ending a relationship that is surviving on pure nostalgia isn’t negative. On the contrary, the relationship itself could be harmful.

Even so, we believe just the opposite and rigidly stick to our convictions. We feel protected by a false sense of faithfulness to the other person. And all the while, we are betraying ourselves.

I will get through this

Sometimes, breaking up with someone or leaving something behind isn’t a decision we can make. Sometimes the circumstances force us to finish a cycle without the option of moving backward. And this can be difficult to deal with. We aren’t prepared, and it’s not really what we want.

We tend to equate goodness with things that are long-lasting and safe. The opposite is negative. Society teaches us that our whole lives. Hence we get attached to objects, situations, and people. That’s why it’s so hard for us to let go and make decisions that bring things to an end.

I will close the door on this phase, and I will open up new and better possibilities. I will try to see my failures in a new light, and take a positive lesson from them.

When life gets tough, we can fall but we can’t give up

Let’s get rid of the belief that the end of something is always a failure. All that leaves us with is frustration. We end up feeling distressed and paralyzed, unable to move forward.

It’s damaging to our self-esteem. It makes us think that a kind of black magic exists that’s strong enough to ruin anything we want to do that’s worth anything.

But listen: we are more resilient than we think. We forget about our ability to keep going after we hit the bottom. We’ve all had moments in the past when we thought it was all over for us. But then, when we least expected it, new opportunities presented themselves.

An open door of opportunity.

It’s painful to end something that made us happy and gave us so many good memories. We get used to our comfortable routine. When everything is the same everyday, we feel comfortable. We feel sure that everything will be ok.

We are so used to our comfort zone. It is warm, calm, and friendly. But it’s really easy to get stuck there. Things can stagnate. Also, as much as we want to be safe, problems and trouble are always waiting around the corner to test us.

My comfort zone protects me from the outside world, not from myself.

I’ve made it this far. I’m sure that now I will be able to see unpleasant situations as an opportunity instead of a misfortune. I might manage to avoid some decisions, but sooner or later I will end up on a dead end street. My determination will be tested, but I will get through this.

I will get through this

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.