I Wish You Happiness

I Wish You Happiness
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

People will often say things like “I hope that you are happy,” but in some way, you can sense that they’re also saying 
“but not more than me.”

It’s as though they were a little unsettled by seeing good things happen to other people, while they themselves are stranded, stuck in everyday life, and above all, incapable of rejoicing in the happiness of others.

Authentically happy people are the ones who are capable of acknowledging the achievements of other people and rejoicing in everything good that has happened to them, as though they themselves were going through the same thing.

If there is one thing that characterizes each one of us, it’s that we are hard-core seekers of happiness. We set projects for ourselves, chase our dreams, and construct hopes and expectations. And maybe that’s why people watch suspiciously while others achieve that precious sense of well-being before they do.

This is a mistake. Maintaining this idea is looking at life through the wrong perspective. We shouldn’t be seekers of happiness, but rather constructors of happiness. Something that can help us create happiness is paying attention to all the good things that surround us, and also what other people live through and transmit to us.

Selfish hearts and closed minds are incapable of appreciating other people’s happiness. They just burden themselves with apprehension and jealousy. They’re seldom able to enjoy the little things, the daily brush strokes where true happiness is found.

Celebrating other people’s happiness is not delusional

girl sitting on a whale

Voltaire used to say that people look for happiness the way drunk people look for their houses. They grope and stumble, knowing that they have one, but without remembering where it is. In reality, it’s complicated, and even more so if we’re talking about other people’s happiness, about everything good that happens to other people but not ourselves.

Being happy for other people isn’t delusional; many of us do it because that’s how we feel. Because happiness is passed around and shared, because authentic hearts enjoy seeing other people do well.

Feeling delighted over seeing happiness and wanting good things to happen to the people we love, offers peace and balance to our souls.

Happiness is not something to “achieve.” Happiness is a daily harvest that can be appreciated from the bottom of our hearts if we know how to understand.

Seeing the good things that other people have done not take away from what we have. People who know how to identify the nobility of others have nobility within themselves.

There are people who praise themselves for being happy when other people do well, but nevertheless, they secretly feel jealousy, personal emptiness, and dissatisfaction. Celebrating other people’s happiness is knowing how to share, maintaining internal balance where you exalt the simple joy of living and the beauty of life itself.

We’re sure that at some point you’ve sensed that people who you thought loved you didn’t seem to be pleased when you made certain achievements, when life gifted you with something that you really deserved.

Why does this happen? Why do some family members and friends seem to want  you to be happy, only as long as you’re not happier than them? We’ll explain below.

watering can

Unrest over other people’s happiness

They say that you know who your good friends really are during bad times. However, another key moment when you can appreciate their sincerity is when luck rains down on you, when you achieve your desires. If that person shows true happiness and shares your excitement, never lose them.

I don’t covet your happiness, and I’m not jealous of your triumphs or achievements. I celebrate your victories as if they were my own, and my heart beats along with your joys and sorrows. That’s why, every day of my life, I want everything good to happen to you.

The sentence “I want you to be happy, but not more than me” does not always have the same negative connotation, nor does it mean that that person is pleased when bad things happen to you.

Sometimes it reflects a loss of controlThink about toxic mothers or families. When one of the children achieves something with their partner, that implies that a real joy is seen as a clear threat. They lose control over their children.

Other times it means a lack of similarity. Maybe your friends count on you to have the same work situation as them, for example. When you get a promotion or find a better job, the similarity that used to unite you is broken, which may break a certain bond.

There are times in which achieving happiness means having to make a change in life, and even establish new priorities. Because ultimately, life  is a journey of constant renewal where suddenly, something outside of us asks us to respond with an internal renovation.

Never stop paying attention to all the good things and wonderful coincidences that each day brings, and celebrate other people’s happiness as if it were your own, because love is the only thing that grows when it is shared sincerely.

heart hot air balloon

Images courtesy of Marie Coubert

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.