The Deafening Silence of a Jealous Person

· March 6, 2016

His silence makes me feel truly uncomfortable. When he is close to me, he doesn’t say anything, but I notice in his face how he cannot see how others appreciate me, how they care for me.

“The silence of the jealous is full of sound.” 

-Hermann Hesse-

When I mention any little thing I have achieved, I feel like it doesn’t make him happy. Furthermore, I get the impression it makes him mad. Other times, he tries to fake intense happiness for things I have done, but I know it is not an honest feeling.

I wish I had never realized all of this, because I suffer because of him. Sometimes I truly feel like running away from get togethers with friends when we are there together.

If only he could see things differently. If only he could understand why others value me, why I am able to achieve these little victories in life. It has nothing to do with whether he is better or worse. It has nothing to do with the fact that he, too, is loved. I think he should learn how to be happy with what he has and who he is.


It pains me because he does not realize that the only one he hurts is himself. At the end of the day, I am happy with what I have and what I don’t have. I don’t compare myself with anyone else. I stay on my own path forward. I know that there are richer and more beautiful people out there, but who cares! I am me and I feel good about that. I don’t long or yearn for what others have.

But he doesn’t see things the way I do. He is always asking about what others have, just so he can criticize himself for not having that. I wish I could help him, but he can’t even see me.

girl spying on couple jealous

Maybe someday, with the passing of time, he will reflect on this part of himself and his personality. Maybe he will work on it, simply so he can feel better about himself and evolve and improve as a person.

I believe that I will try to distance myself, little by little, so he doesn’t even realize I’m doing it. My relationship with him has turned out to be incredibly toxic, and has suffocated me. I feel this especially when we are with other people. I am constantly watching what I am saying so what he does not suffer. But in doing this, I am sacrificing my well-being, and that is not good for me.

I believe he should feel more confident in himself. He should not compare himself to anyone else.”

Signs of a jealous person 

  • They look down on you. They don’t miss any detail of how you are dressed or how you act, etc…
  • They are always hanging on what others are doing or saying. 
  • They are often critical and judgmental. 
  • They often reveal things to others. 
  • They never have enough of anything; they are never satisfied. They always believe that other people are more fortunate and get everything.
  • Often they are not creative. In fact, it is common for them to copy others.
  • They are happy when others fail. 
two faces of same woman jealous

How should you act when confronted with a jealous person?

“Jealousy is a declaration of inferiority.” 

-Napoleon- 

There will always be jealous people around you. You will come across them in your friend groups, in your workplace, in your neighborhood, and even in your family. Don’t let yourself be susceptible to this negativity, nor let it bring you down.

  • If it is a neighbor or acquaintance: don’t consider it nor let it affect your life. It is better if you can distance yourself slowly and quietly from this person. It is not necessary to discuss it or to get angry over it. That will not achieve anything.
  • If it is a coworker: try to get along well strictly as a work colleague and nothing else. Surround yourself with coworkers who make you feel good and who appreciate you. Also, don’t tell that person anything personal. 
  • If it is a friend or family member: if you encounter someone like this in a group of friends or family, don’t distance yourself from the group just because of that one person. Try to enjoy the rest of the people and do your best to understand that person.

In general, it is all about being conscious and aware of what is happening around you. Don’t take things personally nor let yourself get carried away by the jealous feelings of others.