Do Not Beg For Attention And Especially Not For Love

Do Not Beg For Attention And Especially Not For Love
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Don’t beg for love from those who have no time for you, from someone who thinks only of him or herself. Don’t ever do it. The person who makes you feel invisible and insignificant with indifference does not deserve you. You deserve someone who, with their attention, makes you feel important and present.

Love must be shown, but should never ever be begged for. You deserve someone that says less but does more. The person that only looks for you when they need you does not deserve you. Look for the person who is by your side when you need them and not just when it is in their favor. You deserve someone who takes you in and makes you feel important in your life without expecting anything in return.

The end is simple, the person who deserves you is one that, by having the freedom to choose, gets close to you, appreciates you and dedicates their time and thoughts to you.

girl butterflies

It’s not a lack of time, it’s a lack of interest

They say that there is no such thing as lack of time, just a lack of interest, because when people really want it, the morning becomes day, Tuesday turns to Saturday and one moment becomes an opportunity.

They also say that he who expects too much, is disappointed and suffers. So we have to revise our expectations and get into the mindset of not expecting anything from anyone, but rather expecting it all from ourselves. Because hopes and expectations are often (if not always), the basis of emotional fiascos and therefore the attitudes of others are perceived as a lack of interest.

When we perceive what others do or say as untrue, we really feel pain. Emotional pain in the brain behaves the same way as physical pain. In this sense we must give importance to psychological distress. We would never think of ignoring strong pains in our stomach or a tremendous, constant headache.

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So, why should we ignore emotional pain? We cannot just wait for time to heal it. We have to work on it and draw out the lessons it gives us the same way we would stop eating chocolate if we found it to be the cause of our upset stomach.

This is very important because socially there is a false belief that psychological distress is a sign of weakness and at the same time, time will heal the wounds without “disinfecting” them or putting bandages or patches to prevent the bleeding.

lacking time

Value yourself, really love yourself

Dedicate time to people who deserve it and who make you feel good. Do not beg for attention, friendship or anyone’s love. Someone who loves you will show it.

So if you’re experiencing a situation of emotional injustice, remember:

  • The person who does not call you or answer your calls, don’t call them.
  • Don’t go looking for someone who doesn’t miss you.
  • Don’t miss a person who isn’t searching for you. Do not write to them.
  • Do not subject yourself to the punishment of indifference shown by ignored messages or unfounded silences.
  • Do not wait for someone who does not wait for you; value yourself and stop begging and pleading for love. Because, as we said, love must be shown and felt, but never begged for. Your love must be for those who love you and understand you without judging you.

And, above all, do not forget the value of your smile in the mirror, love yourself and value yourself for what you are and not what someone who does not deserve you makes you understand. Truly love yourself  and realize that the fact that someone neglects you does not mean that you shouldn’t do everything possible to surround yourself with people you want in your life.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.