Being With an Empty Person Also Counts as Solitude

· March 3, 2016

There are many types of solitude. In some cases solitude allows us to get to know ourselves better so we can really listen to our inner voice. This kind of solitude allows us to learn how to make ourselves happy as capable people who know how to care for their self-esteem.

If there is a type of solitude that is equally destructive as it is dangerous, it is that which we feel when we spend our time, our life, our moments, with people who are important to us, but nevertheless, are empty people. 

Of course, they are important to us because we have freely chosen to be with them and spend time with them, and because we have shared our emotions and strong feelings with them. But there comes a point when we realize that they will only disappoint us, and cause us pain. 

We may encounter this type of person in our social circles, or even among close family members.

 

Emotional solitude in empty people

emotional solitude cat hug

Alexandre Dumas often said that his father would complain all the time about empty people. He would define them in a phrase: “The more empty people around, the more noise they make.” 

With this symbolic phrase, we can already tell that this type of personality often makes itself known. They don’t go unnoticed through our lives, nor do they leave us unchanged.


So what characterizes this type of person?

1. Lack of emotional reciprocity

We are not here to debate whether or not the soul exists. However, that is one of the first points that is often talked about when we talk about empty people.

They are unable to understand and empathize with others, or grasp the unique perspective that another person has.

They are only concerned with taking care of their personal needs. They often pursue this goal without concern for how their actions might affect others.

Empty people are not good listeners. In turn, they are not good at opening themselves up to others, either. If they do at some point, it is most likely for their own personal, guarded purposes.

2. The need to suppress and become attached to someone more emotional 

Empty people often characterize themselves in a very basic way: by the absence of happiness in their lives.

Empty people only pull strings and influence others in order to fill their own bottomless emptiness. They cover up their own deficiency by manipulating the emotions of others. They don’t display generosity, altruism, or a happiness for living.

They will often waver back and forth between two extremes. It’s either all or nothing. This may be demonstrated by showing excessive love in order to fulfill a need, or complete indifference once their needs have been met, blanketing themselves in the cover of emotional solitude.

Empty people are incomplete personalities who build immature relationships. Don’t let yourself be the water that fills them, nor the spark that each day lights their fleeting happiness, nor the light that illuminates their loneliness. In the end, it will be you who ends up hurt.

drawing of woman reading in solitude

How can we confront life with empty people? 

The first answer that comes to mind when considering this question may be to create distance and put space between ourselves and that person.  We are talking about emotions, and in general, about relationships we form with people who are not significant to us.

We must always be true to ourselves, and after investing time and effort, we have to decide whether or not the best decision is to end the relationship

It is day to day life, our own personal balance, and our integrity that are the principal indicators that we should guard and be aware of in every moment.

Don’t make the mistake of acting just like they do. Always present yourself with honest integrity, and confront words and situations, making it clear the type of person you are and how you define yourself.

If today you become aware that your significant other is an empty person, communicate how you feel, what you are able to accept and what you are not able to accept.

You are not an empty being. You have emotions and emotional needs that should be acknowledged and reciprocated. If none of those needs are being met, nothing will change; reflect on what your next step should be.

There is no worse solitude than that of those who only give us formless, vague affection; who only offer a world of emptiness.