Isn’t Time Supposed to Heal Everything?
I feel bad about something that I shouldn’t care about anymore. It’s a shadow that always accompanies me. It’s too heavy for me. I think it’s called my past. I dream of the day I can say goodbye to that weight, so it will stop tormenting me. Maybe this has or is also happening to you.
One thing is to stumble on the same rock twice, and another is to come to care for it. Well, at times we can be the perfect example of the latter. It’s hard to believe, because it’s not very wise to come to care for something that you stumble on and harms you.
“Don’t cling to the past
or to bad memories.
Don’t open a wound that has already healed.
Don’t bring back old pain and sorrow.
What’s done is done…
From now on,
put all of your energy into building a new life
guided towards the peaks, and walk forwards
without looking back.
Be like the sun that goes up each day
without thinking about the previous night.
Come on, get up…
the sunlight is waiting for you outside!”
I’ve heard that life has three geometry accidents: vicious circles, love triangles and square minds. I wonder what we’re all doing wrong to fall time and time again into the same hells.
It’s difficult to talk about this, because doing so means admitting that we cling to certain parts of our past. It means admitting that our emotions try to live in it as well. And that’s when I start to wonder if time doesn’t really heal everything. Because if so, it’s doing a truly terrible job.
Either way, I’ve come to the conclusion that we’ve all been scammed by the same villain. So far I’ve only seen that time just shows sorrow and suffering into a waiting room.
What’s killing us is living with that hope. That’s why I think the time has come to face and accept it. At the end of the day, the parts of our past that we choose to relive aren’t the only hardships we’ve experienced. It’s simply that we have overcome the previous ones by facing them head on, so they no longer hurt us. I guess this time it was different, because the pain caught us by surprise and with our guard down.
You probably look around and find that everything is fine, but suddenly you feel a deep sadness invade you. You’re overcome by guilt and weighs down on you. It’s a complicated resentment that doesn’t respond to anything. In fact, we usually blame ourselves for this. We deem our emotions as selfish, when in fact they only seek for us to respect their space.
The truth is that it’s very hard to live in the continuous instability of a sorrow that has no explanation. But I think we‘re starting to understand each other and can soon finally find the key that opens the door to reconciliation with ourselves.
The problem is that we bury our conflicts and experiences because we believe that this frees us of them. But nothing could be further from the truth. Covering the wound doesn’t help it heal any better or faster.
In fact, doing so is only a first aid technique. It can save our lives, but it doesn’t help us get better. This is why the time has come to undergo an open-heart surgery.
We try to avoid remembering, but “what once was” lives with us. And tears seem to surprise us when we least expect them. It is a matter of impulses. Something wants to get out, and this makes up another symptom that shows that we’re living in the past. We feel limited and don’t know why. Something prevents us from giving the best of ourselves and for no apparent reason.
We’ve become specialists in rationalizing our inner life without realizing that we’re eating ourselves up inside. I think the time has come to step on our past and not allow our emotions to live in it.
It’s about time we rip off the collar. To investigate, address, and find the key to our inner lock and continue sailing in our little boat towards freedom.
And dear destiny, if something isn’t meant for me, don’t put it in my way. I have learned my lesson, looked back, and I realized that nothing can ever be the same. What’s done is done.
Now I understand that the reason time couldn’t dry my tears was because its job was to teach me that you can’t be strong with your weakness. Because you can’t live in the past. You can only learn from the past and nobody, except yourself, can free you from it. It’s a huge mistake to live in the present while remembering a past that no longer has a future.