Living With a Broken Heart is Like Breathing Through the Cracks

Living with a broken heart is like walking around naked, with a half empty soul – tied down by a rope that still belongs to another. It is a slow and torturous process that suffocates us and causes us pain. However, no pain lasts forever.

They say only time truly heals heartbreak, offense and disappointment. However, not only will the passage of time be a good ally, but your courage and inner-strength will be what eventually guide you slowly towards the healing of that painful wound. And even if we can’t forget, we will at least feel at rest.

The emotional damage caused by a love that couldn’t be, or a love that was but dissipated, is undoubtedly one of the most traumatic of those that humans experience.

We become immobilized. Because illusions fade and because we have to pick up our self-esteem piece by piece, the one which has so often been fragmented. The subsequent healing process is slow and delicate.

A broken heart’s cracks must be filled with gold

A broken bone often takes much less time to heal than a broken heart. That being said, every wound demands willpower to heal, and most of all, the recognition that we will no longer be the same, that we can’t go back to the way things were. That we are going to come out of this process stronger, that we’ll be resilient and to learn as much as possible from every experience.

In Japan there is an ancient art called Kintsukuroi: it consists in the joining of broken gold objects, because there is also beauty in the wounds have healed, since it’s the end result that tells the history of these now unique pieces. The tradition of Kintsukuroi contains many important teachings:

• If you refuse to assume the loss, disappointment, rejection or separation, you will be anchored to an eternal and unnecessary suffering.
• It’s important to accept what has happened and in turn accept that “you are not OK.” Acknowledging your pain is accepting a reality that you must work on every day.
• Pain may be a part of you, but it is not you: understand that it must be temporary.
• Do not make the mistake of wanting to return to your old circumstances. You will not be the same person you were yesterday, there will be a great deal of change happening inside you, and there’s no reason why they should be negative.
• The art of Kintsukuroi does not aim to hide the breaks and cracks in those pieces of porcelain. The magic is in sealing them with gold to show where the wound once was, producing a final result that’s beauty is undeniable.
• Tradition says that objects which are sealed with the Kintsukuroi technique are never again broken.

Putting your feelings aside

You know that a broken heart cannot be repaired with gold, but it can be healed with your emotions struggling to ignite new dreams, heal lost ones and wake up with new, more intense ones, with deeper roots.

Sometimes we are so strong that we come to love those who do not deserve us while we are heartbroken. Do not allow this – put aside what you feel and remember what you deserve. Remember that love is joy, not suffering.

It’s actually not a simple process. Emerging from the tears and ashes of that life which we dream about and have yet to reach is not always easy, but not because it’s difficult does that imply it’s impossible. On the contrary, in fact there will come a time when you will feel proud of yourself for having become the person that you truly wanted to be: someone free from suffering.

Remember what you deserve

People who walk through life daily with a broken heart have forgotten what they truly deserve. Remember these simple principles and seal the fractures of your broken soul with “gold:”

• You deserve to be loved, you deserve to be happy. No one should live condemned to feeling miserable every day of their life.
• The choice that was made by a certain person at a given time does not define you. It is not you. Those are their thoughts, their micro-world, and an alien universe in which you must not become involved. Your reality is unique and different from that of the person who broke your heart.
• You are the only one with the power to get out of your current situation. You must be a subtle craftsman who heals wounds with the golden quality of your self esteem, your renewed hopes, and brand new dreams to embark upon every day …

Broken hearts are drifting boats that travel aimlessly for some time. However, they always end up finding a calm and serene direction that leads them to happiness. True and authentic happiness.

Image courtesy of Amanda Cass and Pascal Campion