How Do You Know If Your Partner Really Cares About You?
Maybe this article’s subject seems rather naïve to you. Who can’t tell if they are loved by their partner or not? Well, sometimes people are not perfect, sometimes we make mistakes and there are some mistakes that hurt more than others. We know this. And there are many men and women who have spent a great deal of their time – and their life – with a partner who actually never loved them the way they really deserved. Or the way they had hoped. Maybe they were cheated on. Or their respective partners simply never believed enough in the commitment that they had made.
These tend to be the kinds of failures that hurt the most. Those that make us feel the worst and emotionally destroy those who suffer from them. Because so much time, energy, and hope has been invested, because maybe they even gave up aspects that were very important to them at one point in their lives…all for someone who maybe never dared to tell us that they loved us. Or who simply were not willing to commit and give the relationship a chance. So we absolutely have to know how to notice the following indications. Dimensions that you surely know, but that are worth keeping in mind and thinking about.
1. An interest in the little things
Interest is not just in them asking little things like “Did you sleep well?” “What time do you go to work?” “When will I see you again?” Interest in someone is noticed in the way they look at you, their gestures, and in the little details. In noticing that something is on your mind when you get home and wanting to know what has caused that concern. Interest in yesterday, today, and tomorrow. In knowing those details from your childhood, the insignificant obsessions you have now, and interest in what we think about the future. We will know that we are important for a person when their need to know and their concern is sincere, and we can notice this in their verbal and nonverbal language, some kind of empathy and above all else, sincerity. Interest is observed, sensed, and felt.
Commitment is necessary to maintain and grow in our feelings and our relationship. This has to do with a concern for tomorrow when both individuals will still be united for a common goal. Maybe we maintain a sincere and gratifying relationship, but if we don’t share a desire for something more, to mature towards the same horizon, surely discrepancies will start to pop up. And more than anything else, a difference in needs.
One will be happy with that weekend getaway, and the other will feel a void about being able to form a home or a family or not. We must be careful with false promises, those that put Band-Aids on the present with castles in the air that slowly crumble. We have to be intuitive and aware of those details, those plans that are not fulfilled, the excuses with which most of their reproaches are woven.
3. The need to be together
Can there be anything more basic and simple? Sharing time, space, moments, opportunities, sounds, and silences… Where there are also no last minute excuses that can put a damper on a meeting, that make them spend more time out of the house than they can justify. The time that is experience as a couple must be filled with mutual understanding and pleasure, for the simple well being of spending time with one another. Obviously we have no reason to be “crushed” together 24 hours a day, none at all… but to know that we are really important for someone, we will have to notice that need to find time to be together, and most of all, that the time shared is worth sharing.
4. The importance of communication
How is your communication with your partner? Is there understanding and empathy? Do they listen sincerely? Do they remember your words, ideas, and comments? It is essential for us to pay attention to those dialogues, noticing the interest and that look that we see ourselves reflected in. Where our words can have the power to cause harm or offer happiness. What we should never notice is indifference. Absolutely not. That fog where our feelings start to fray and our words no longer have their former power to protect your self-esteem and to avoid staying in a situation that, far from giving us hope, can cause us even more pain…
Image courtesy of Benjamin Lacombe