When You Wait For Your Life To Change...
I like to act simply when it comes to life. One of the things I have been doing daily, for a few days now, is to pretend to free myself from illusions or eternal promises. I realized I was using a huge amount of energy envisioning myself in the situation I desired for the future. I was concentrating too much on tomorrow.
So, I made the decision to stop living my life constantly hoping and waiting, and to not expect anything from myself. As soon as I made this decision, my heart seemed to take a great sign of relief, and my soul began to truly live. In general, people focus themselves on “how” they are supposed to live, without realizing that, by doing so, they are not living fully. We imprison our soul and turn ourselves into robots.
So, one day I decided to stop the thoughts I had about myself, about what I expected of myself, about all of my hopes and delusions. I decided to stop creating expectations and to live continuously and constantly in each and every moment… To concentrate on what was happening in the present and to be able to enjoy it, and to not only wait for something to happen.
“The past has left, what awaits is still absent, but the present is yours.”
Don’t wait for others
So, as part of my decision, I also realized I cannot wait for others. For others around us to value us, for our spouses to understand us, for us to understand ourselves, and for others to trust us… these things do not always come easily. I learned that the most important thing is that I believe in myself and if I do something, it is not out of hoping for something in return, but rather because I really, truly wanted to do it.
Don’t wait for money
Before, I had concentrated on the idea of reaching new goals and opportunities at work with making a lot more money, and I had a lot of delusions about this idea. However, I realized that the more I longed for material things, the less life gave me, and the less I advanced towards that state. I accepted what I already had and that I didn’t need more in order to feel good about myself or to be happy.
I realized that I was not enjoying, nor savoring what I truly had in every moment. I was limiting myself to focusing on the future, when I would have more and do more… In reality, I was losing the most important time: the present moment.
Don’t wait for everything to be perfect
Why wait for everything to be perfect? Thinking in this way, I realized I was not able to feel my true inner peace.
When you stop waiting for everything to be perfect, you stop depending on your environment to shine light on your true power, peace, and internal balance; that which nothing or no one can ever change. But perfection does not exist. I got tired looking for it.
Don’t dwell on tomorrow
We are afraid of not being able to overcome that which we fear, or that which we think could happen. So, I began to consider the idea of telling myself that “what has to happen will happen, and everything will happen for a reason”.
We all have plans. I myself have ambitious goals. However, when you start living by that mantra, you are able to see the amazing opportunities that are out there for you. And when that happens, your plans might seem small compared to the rest of the world.
Expectations drain our energy and, in reality, narrow our vision to only be able to see one or two paths or options for ourselves. Furthermore, these possibilities are often already in our mind. Our energy is blocked by thinking only about the “how” and not the “why.”
I was always looking towards tomorrow. I would wait and wait. My mind would create a chain of events that I wanted to happen in my life, and therefore my head was always working under the pressure to be reaching these goals of my own expectations. My body was always running at 110%, asking myself what had to happen next, and what things I could do to get that which was causing me so much anxiety.
This was all because I didn’t know absolutely how to achieve that which I was wanting and hoping for of myself. But, do you want to know the funniest part? When I stopped thinking about the mechanism of the chain of events, exceptional answers and ideas started to occur to me. These allowed me to accomplish things much more simply, and enjoy them at the same time.
I would always be physically and emotionally exhausted when I would set out to do something, for all the above-mentioned reasons. It was like training for a marathon that disappointed me and robbed me of a little bit of my life. It’s a paradox: the thing I wanted most would completely drain me of my vital energy in the process of reaching it. Doesn’t make much sense, does it?
After sorting out all of these points in my mind, and arriving at the understanding with my own mind about what it was that my soul needed and that my heart longed for, my life began to fill up with new gifts that simply fell into my path on their own. I began to value what life was giving me, something that I had never before appreciated. I had only been repetitively searching for the answer to one question: How do I get there?
To sum it up, it all came down to me deciding to give up the control of my life and insist on simply seeing how things were going to play out. Everything happens as it does because life has its own tempo, simple and unchangeable. So, that is when we can appreciate how to feel life and how to let it flow, to not wait, to not hope, but to simply live and be true to ourselves.
“Trust in time, it often gives sweet escapes to many bitter ordeals.”
-Miguel de Cervantes-