Think About What You Would Do If You Weren't Afraid

Think About What You Would Do If You Weren't Afraid
Sergio De Dios González

Written and verified by the psychologist Sergio De Dios González.

Last update: 21 February, 2022

I’m afraid to love because I was hurt once so I’m afraid to fall in love again and have the same thing happen to me. I’m afraid to leave a job I don’t like because I don’t know if I’ll find another job or if I’ll be able to pay my bills. I’m afraid to say what I think and I keep quiet to avoid being rejected. I’m afraid to travel for fear that something may happen to me.

But loving is always a risk, changing is always a risk and being ourselves is a necessity. Why are we so afraid to take that risk? Because we have a system of deeply rooted beliefs about what it means to be “happy,” without considering that what makes one person happy does not necessarily have to make the other happy.

“Some parents are willing to do anything for their children, except letting them be themselves.”


What are you afraid of?

When we are children, we are not afraid of many things, but as time goes on, we begin to introduce guidelines that govern our fear based on our experience: “I’m afraid to leave my partner, but I’m unhappy because I don’t know know how to be alone”,” I’m afraid to change jobs even though I don’t like my current job at all”…

But imagine for a moment what your life will be like in five years if you don’t change anything. Isn’t it true that the thing that scares us more than the future is uncertainty?

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”

-Mahatma Gandhi-

woman hugging the world

The fact that we anchor ourselves and do not want to change  is due to the emotion of fear, but fear like any other emotion, can be managed and modified.

When people lose their fear, they do with their life what they please and not with what others think they have to do. Therefore, the first thing we each need to do is identify the source of our fear in order to confront it.

Fear of change

Many times throughout our life we complain about many aspects that make us uncomfortable, upset us, that make us unhappy, that bother us. But, do you ever wonder if you’ve done something to change whatever it is that bothers you so much?

What really frightens us is failure. However, we must always remember that uncertainty is part of life and we can never know exactly what will happen, so we must learn from failure.

Fear of freedom

Freedom is a responsibility, because it does not depend on others, but rather on us. The time is now; don’t want for your life’s work to come to you by simply doing nothing, or for the partner of your dreams to magically appear. All dreams involve the courage to assume the freedom we desire. Because, don’t forget, being free is for the brave.

butterflies flying in the sky

Fear of taking charge of our lives

We are afraid to take charge of our lives and we admire those that do. Those who leave everything to take a trip around the world, those who quit their job to pursue their passion. The question that needs to be asked is: Are you really who you want to be?

Taking charge of your life means making choices, decisions that take you to the path you choose, regardless of what other people think is good for you and for your life. What does your heart say? Listen to your heart, it is never wrong.

Are you brave enough to change?

Taking charge of your life, leaving your fears behind, taking the risk of freedom, and being responsible for ourselves are acts of courage. We are all able to overcome and live the life we want, and it requires us to have a great deal of courage.

But once you overcome the fear of a certain part of your life, your ability to take risks will increase because you will be aware that you always learn and that failure is part of life. Every time you exercise your freedom, you will be that much closer to achieving your dreams.

“Your time is limited. Do not waste it by living the lives of others.”

-Steve Jobs-

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This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.