Why We Resist Making Decisions (and How to Get Over It)

August 29, 2017

“I don’t know what decision to make” is perhaps one of the most common phrases of those people who are insecure with themselves, and therefore hesitant towards life.

Making a decision implies taking responsibility for the consequences. Therefore, it is a task that is not usually taken lightly, especially if the issue is important.

Why don’t we know how to decide?

Actually, we all know how to make decisions. What happens is that we doubt our decision-making abilities, and that paralyzes us. Making a decision is easy, as long as we feel sure of ourselves.

But it is precisely our insecurity and fears that prevent us from making decisions about life.

woman thinking without knowing what to do

What does it mean to feel insecure?

Feeling insecure means not being focused on ourselves, but rather on what others will think of our decision. It’s hard to make a decision if we rely on the expectations of others. Insecurity grows in us, our indecision and fears increase, and this cycle continues without end, making us feel increasingly blocked and paralyzed.

How to recover self-confidence?

Feeling sure of ourselves requires having good self-esteem, understanding who we are, being well aware of our strengths, and our weaknesses. Being secure is knowing ourselves and our values ​​and desires towards life.

“Sometimes the smallest decision can change your life forever”

-Keri Russell-

How to make a decision?

When we are faced with several options, first of all, it is important to feel connected with ourselves, knowing who we are and our vision of life. We must not focus on others and what they think or say.

Secondly, it is important to take time to reflect on each option, assessing the pros and cons. The best way to assess the pros and cons is to give a numerical score, so that depending on the importance of each particular aspect, we give a score between 0 and 5, for example.

Thus, it will be easy for us as we compare the importance of the reasons for each level and know which one will benefit us the most.

It is therefore important that the assessment of each aspect is sincere and based on our personal interests and not the interests of others, who are not the ones who have to make the decision.

How put the decision into practice?

Once the aspects and motives are given a value based on the pros and cons, you must feel confident in the result. In that way, the decision will be resolved.

Then the only thing left to do it express it to others. We expose our motives, which are highly valued and are the result of the decision.

And afterward, executing the decision involves moving our life in that direction, and remembering at all times, the reasons why we reached this point.

But what about fears?

Before any change in life, fears appear which make us doubt whether this decision will be the most suitable.

woman trapped in a jar afraid

We may be wrong, but the mistake will inevitably serve to give us something to learn from in our lives. Walking through life is going blindly, not knowing what lies ahead.

Therefore, once we have reviewed our motives, it will be worth deciding to move ahead, overcoming and facing our fears.

Many times, not making the decision is the worst option. Staying stagnant, not allowing for change blocks us in our path. The consequences of this are usually far worse that those that would result from any of the other choices.

“Brave is he who overcomes his fears and not he who does not have any.”