When I Think I'm Not A Good Person

When I Think I'm Not A Good Person

Last update: 14 August, 2016

Have you ever felt like a bad person? Sometimes we make mistakes that make us feel bad. Guilt overwhelms us and we think we are bad people. But not everything you do wrong means you’re not a good person.

Believe me, if you’re thinking whether or not you’re a bad person, you’re probably not one. Bad people do not think about whether they are bad. They simply always act on their behalf, doing evil for no reason.

“Do not forget, good or bad, this too shall pass”

-Jorge Bucay-

When you feel like you’re a bad person, have you ever considered whether it is something that others want to make you feel? Today you’ll discover why certain times you think you’re acting negatively when you really aren’t. There are many influencing factors, but the most important thing is how you see yourself.

The boundary between good and evil

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From childhood you have been taught to be good, but what does it really mean to be a good person? Behaving well, helping others, never saying “no”…

Some of the things we have been taught undermine us. Being very good, sometimes causes us to expose ourselves to others, become vulnerable and or become a target that gets arrows thrown at it.

As we grow and acquire responsibilities sometimes we feel guilty. Someone whom we say “no” to gets angry, if we tell the truth sometimes we have more problems than if we lie, we maintain appearances so no one judges us…

Enough! It’s one thing to be a good person and another, very different thing, to be foolish and make ourselves puppets to others. You should not let others use you as they please, you must not let them make you feel bad.

Why is that person mad if I can’t hang out with them? Why, if I was honest, do they treat me and look at me so badly? People ask for sincerity when they prefer to hear lies. Isn’t that hypocrisy?

“Hypocrisy is the height of all evils.” 

– Molière-     

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Eventually, you learn to know when to put people in their place. You do not always have to turn the other cheek; not doing so does not make you a bad person.

Being selfish, sometimes, is the more positive option. You don’t have any reason to be at the mercy of others because others are not at your mercy. Be free to say “no”, be free to not let anyone make you feel like you’re a bad person.

Say no to emotional blackmail!

illustatration girl

Perhaps one of the ways you are made to feel tremendously guilty is by emotional blackmail. This not only happens in a couple, but in different types of relationships.

Blackmail is characterized by making someone feel guilty for acting the way they want. It is the most common form and the one with which most people probably identify.

Emotional blackmail can make you believe you’re a bad person. If you do not offer yourself completely, if you’re not always there, if you say “I can’t stay,” you’re being a bad person.

Getting out of this is difficult because our low self-esteem makes us believe that we are bad people who continually hurt others, even though you are the one who gets hurt.

Have you ever thought about how bad you feel because of someone else? For example, you fear speaking your mind because you worry the other person may take it wrong. But sometimes it slips and a discomfort is unleashed that you can’t escape.

Actually, the negative thing is not what you say, but rather the person’s reaction that bounces off you and makes you feel really bad. Instead, the other person turns themselves into the victim.

“There is no burden heavier than feeling guilty about something you never did”


Evil and kindness are very relative

When you think you’re a bad person, really think about what others have made you think was bad and whether it really is something bad. Evil is something you do for no reason. Imagine you mistreat someone, that’s being a bad person.

But what if you defend your brother from somebody? Whether you use hurtful words or your physical strength if they are attacking him, are you being bad then? Evil and kindness are relative, it all depends on how you look at it. Therefore, being a good person is not something that goes away if we make mistakes…

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5 Forms of Emotional Blackmail

Living under continuous emotional blackmail, not only destroys our self-esteem, but it also seriously affects our health. Learn to identify it. See more »

Images courtesy of Beth Conklin

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.