When Your Happiness Depends on Others
Take a minute and reflect on the happiness (or lack thereof) in your life: What does that happiness depend on? On you? On other people? A mistake that we make and which makes us feel unhappy is having to depend on other people in order to be happy. If others are not happy, neither are we, but that is not how it should work!
“If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.”
Making a good impression on others
In our lives, we always try to make a good impression on others. To what end? So that they will not speak badly about us, so that a fight will not come up, so that we will not feel bad because of guilt… All in all, anytime we can, we are going to bow our heads with the aim to keep moving on and not create conflicts.
If differences come up between two people and this leads to a conflict, do not feel bad! Think about the fact that you both have to respect the other’s opinion and if someone is reluctant to do this, they are not worth feeling bad over.
Your fear is feeling guilty. You need to bow your head so that those conflicts do not pop up and so you can be happy, right? Happiness starts with oneself and so don’t change yourself for fear of others’ unhappiness. Your happiness will come when you start valuing yourself the way you deserve.
You have to learn to be happy
When you depend on others, there will come a moment when you notice that you are not happy. In reality, you are looking for other people’s happiness and not your own. You are looking for the comfort of avoiding confrontation, the happiness of being on good terms with everyone… but really you are constantly worrying about keeping everything under control.
Stop being vulnerable to the opinion of others! You have to believe in yourself, in your possibilities, and stop depending on their approval in order to “be happy.” There is no reason for you to control everything. You do not have to please everyone. This is impossible to achieve and you will only become frustrated.
You do not need to please everyone. Accept that other peoples’ happiness must not be your own, that there will always be someone who does not like you, and this is something that you cannot avoid! What’s more, learn to be happy with rejection, criticism, conflict… Think first of yourself, not others. Be selfish for a change, it is not something bad!
A matter of attitude
At first, confronting this situation is not easy. You will continue seeking to please, to have control of all situations, to avoid making people angry! But that must come to an end, and this demands great effort. First you have to be aware of your dependence and then start acting!
Once you start valuing yourself the way you deserve and understand that your happiness only depends on you, you will begin to respond to things that you were avoiding before. If someone appears to be against you or tries to change your life to their liking, respond to this! In addition to giving yourself an adrenaline rush, you will feel good!
It is also necessary to respond to yourself. For each person, happiness can be found in different things. For this reason, we cannot let this depend on other people, for it is something personal! Maybe you are afraid of finding your own happiness or because this requires a lot of responsibility. At any cost, only you can find your own happiness.
What is the meaning of happiness for you? This is the first question that you must answer. But do not make the mistake of thinking about somebody else. No, now is the time for you to think about yourself; you are front and center. Be responsible and find your happiness.
Sometimes it is difficult for us to be happy; imagine how hard it is when our happiness depends on others! The problem grows larger. We hope that if you are dependent on others, you will learn, little by little, to seek your own happiness without needing anyone else. You have to depend on yourself for happiness. It is very easy to pass this responsibility on to others, because it is easy to be unhappy! Start changing this today.