There Are Situations That Last a Little Longer Than They Should
Prolonging situations where we are not well, in which someone hurts us or where something happens that we simply do not like is very common and has happened to all of us more than once. Any writer knows that putting the final ending is one of the most difficult challenges of a novel.
Often fear paralyzes us in a way in which our survival instinct manifests, but when we overcome that barrier, the fear dissipates. This is because in most situations what we fear does not happen or if it does happen we learn to manage it.
“You’re between what I have and what I’m afraid to have.”
-Marilyn Monroe-
How to end what should no longer last
Terminating a situation is difficult because it complicates our minds with imaginations, with premonitions that most of the time are unlikely. It seems that after the end there is nothing. There is a void in which we do not know what will happen, but you need to remember that often the best opportunities are beyond fear. Beyond the situations that terrify us.
Ending a relationship is something that can seem very complicated, for example. But if you think about how you will be within a year with that person you may not love anymore or who doesn’t show you affection, you will see that is not the place you want for yourself.
“You always know when a stage comes to an end. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters whatever name we give it, what matters is leaving the moments of life that have already been finished in the past.”
-Paulo Coelho-
The dual display of what would happen- if you do what makes you afraid and if you don’t do it- gives us a very realistic view of the situation and helps us manage our fear and think objectively. The same technique can be used when it comes to our working lives or other situations that do not make us happy.
Avoid self-deception
My partner will change, with time everything will change, at work everything will get better, my partner not loving me is my fault… We have told ourselves these phrases more than once and sometimes we continue thinking this way, without realizing we are fooling ourselves. We forget that the ones we have to change are ourselves, not others.
Our brain is very good at deceiving us because its purpose is for the survival of the organism. It develops and sometimes masterly distorts the information received by the senses. We all have blind spots in our brain, which are aspects of our life in which we are prone to self-deceit. We deform reality to be as we want it and we tend to see only what we want to see.
“Remember that what you think makes you human, self-deception makes you sick.”
-Walter Riso-
The most important thing in these situations is to be very honest with ourselves and see the reality (raw or not). While we need some time to accept it, it is best to know what reality is. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can move forward. We may have some blame in the situation which we have to accept; a sign of maturity is to accept our responsibility.
It’s important to see reality as it is, with all its crudeness, by taking a look at the people who love us and respect us. Ask your friends, your family, the people you appreciate, let them express what they think, reflect on what they say and make the appropriate conclusions about the reality of the situations that you do not see or do not want to see.
Learn to grow as a person in all situations
Overcoming what we fear, moving ahead, trusting ourselves, ending things when necessary are important parts of our learning in order to be complete and wise people; to learn that the way we live life we feel is in our hands.
At the end we are the ones who shape our feelings and our emotions. This act is one of the largest sources of beauty of life and if we are blind to it, we lose it. For ourselves and then also for those who love us and are sincere, honest and loyal.
Think About What What You Would Do If You Were Not Afraid
Learn to be brave, to overcome the fear that gets in the way of you and your dreams. See more
