Nobody Can Put Themselves in Your Shoes
Why is it so hard for people to understand us? Why can’t they understand our mood swings? For one simple reason: nobody can put themselves in your shoes.
But don’t be mistaken. This is also true of you. Our experiences, the ones we truly live and suffer through, are only known to us. Even if you can understand the experiences of another, you will never feel it in your bones, or fully comprehend how they experience it.
My path will always be different from yours, my shoes will never be the same size as yours. Nobody can ever put themselves in your shoes, just as I can never put myself in them.
Overcoming pain helps us to grow
We have often wanted to ease or heal the pain that another person was going through. And how great would it be if they could do the same for us! If somebody could come and free us of that pain that is making us completely unhappy.
Each of us suffers. It seems hard to say this, but we go through many negative experiences that will make us cry, that will depress us, that will really make us suffer.
Overcoming all of that pain will allow us to grow and move forward. Pain is not something negative; it is just another feeling.
“Pain needs to be heard. Pain needs to be worn out.”
Pain is unique
Clearly people can try to understand what is going on in your life, why you are suffering, but their ability to understand will only be a very small part of it. Really, the large part of all this is what you are going through and experiencing yourself.
You have to experience that pain, you have to suffer it and be able to express it so that you can heal. As Bernardo Stamateas says, “Pain needs to be worn out.” If you have to cry until you don’t have any tears left, do it. If it has to hurt until you reach your limit, let it hurt. Yes, these shoes are yours and nobody can put themselves in them. Keep this clear in your mind: nobody can put themselves in your shoes.
The pain has to come out
Sometimes we try to act like we are not going through a hard time, maybe in an attempt not to call attention to it or not wanting to lend it the importance it really has. But you know what? Sooner or later, all of that will come out.
You will explode, even if you don’t want to; no matter how much you try to repress it, you will end up venting. Maybe not in the way that you would like, but that was your own fault. You have to let that pain out, you have to let your wound heal well.
Ignoring what you feel will not solve the problem. It will just postpone it until everything falls in on itself.
If you do not express what you are feeling, if you do not talk to someone you trust, you also cannot expect others to put themselves in your shoes, even if stepping into your shoes is something that only you can do. Nobody will be aware of what you are going through if you don’t tell them, if you don’t express it. They can get an idea of it, but maybe it is not the right one.
Although we have already said that nobody can ever put themselves in your shoes, clearly they can be lent those shoes, not so that they experience the same thing as you, but so that they can come closer to what you are going through.
Of course it will not be the same thing, but it will allow others to understand you and give you the necessary support you need. Surely there are many shoulders ready to be soaked with your tears, surely there are many hands held out so that when you fall, you can get up again.
Understanding the pain helps
Nobody can ever put themselves in your shoes, but they can understand you, value the situation that you are going through, but in the end it is your path and your pain. Only you are going to suffer it, only you are going to overcome it.
“Pain is not the problem, the problem is the unhealed emotions.”
Speak, express your pain, share it…but do not look for instant relief, as everything comes on its own time. Look for a little bit of light on this path that now looks dark.
All of this will allow you to heal your pain as soon as possible. It is better than ignoring it, it is better than expecting time to heal it, it is better than wanting people to put themselves in your shoes without really knowing what you are going through.