How to Heal Our Frustration

· October 20, 2015

Surely at some point in your life, you’ve felt frustrated. When you wanted to do something and weren’t able to achieve it yet. When you had a goal, and you were met with an obstacle.

It’s normal to feel frustrated. But we shouldn’t confuse frustration with defeat. Do we get angry over our frustration? Do we feel anxious? Sad? It’s normal, but we need to learn to see the bright side. We need strategies to heal the frustration that can block us off and drag us down.

“Don’t despair, not even over the fact that you’re not despairing. When it all seems to be over, new strengths arise. And that means you’re alive.”
Franz Kafka

1. Identify your goals

It’s hard to achieve our goals. And that’s not a bad thing. If something is hard to achieve, it’s worth it. When we accomplish the goal, we’ll feel even happier for having crossed that finished line.

Before frustration appears, discover why you can’t reach the things you set out to do. Talk about it and don’t keep all of that frustration to yourself. Get it out in the open!

Maybe you’re not on the right path in order to achieve want you want. Maybe it’s something unattainable and you don’t even realize it. Talking about it could help.


2. Look for alternatives

If you haven’t been able to accomplish a goal, look for another one. Maybe you’re setting goals that are impossible to achieve under certain circumstances. Look for something within your possibilities, something you can actually accomplish.

It’s important that you feel motivated about it. If you want something, go for it, and give it all you’ve got. If you don’t succeed, it’s okay. There are plenty of other goals to go after.

Be realistic with the objectives you set for yourself. Don’t set impossible ones. This will only increase your frustration. Look for realistic alternatives you can actually accomplish.

3. Accept obstacles

As the saying goes, “life is an uphill battle.” Don’t expect everything to be easy. It’s better if it’s not. Challenges and obstacles help us better ourselves. They help us become the best we can be. Stay positive when faced with obstacles, and don’t let them stop you on your way towards your goal.

Think of these challenges as opportunities you should take advantage of. They are not setbacks, but rather situations that make us grow and progress.

4. Remember what you’ve already achieved

Though some things might be difficult, surely there are others things you have already accomplished. Think about them to find strength. Realize that you can’t achieve everything, but you can always accomplish something. And that’s positive. Be secure and confident. Believe in yourself.

What you’ve been able to accomplish can always give you some insight. Why could you accomplish that and not this? What’s going wrong? Maybe it can help open your eyes to what’s possible and what’s impossible.

5. Let yourself make mistakes

Making mistakes is good. We learn and advance from them. Otherwise, we’d only get stuck in a rut. Change your defeatist thoughts for a successful mindset and never feel guilty for your errors. That will only make you insecure and, honestly, it’s not good for you. Confidence is an important part of succeeding in everything you set out to do.

We must learn to forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We should have faith, forgive ourselves and start over. Mistakes are simply something we all go through.

6. Manage your expectations of others

Don’t idealize anyone, and don’t have exaggerated expectations about certain people. We’re all human and, therefore, imperfect. It will generate frustration for us to not see certain expectations about someone upheld. If we don’t expect anything from anyone, we won’t feel disappointed. We’ll be happier and, hence, more positive.

It’s possible to overcome frustration or at least understand it. It’s important to understand what we feel. But instead of rejecting a negative feeling, we should learn to accept it and get the most out of it. Fight for what you want to achieve. Because the one who fails is he who doesn’t try. Resist, persist and you will succeed.

And if not, it’s okay. Maybe it just wasn’t your opportunity. Don’t get frustrated. There will be other occasions in which you will accomplish what you desire. And, above all, never be afraid to try again. Know that it’s better to try and fail than to regret never trying at all.