I can Teach you to Fly, but not Guide the Flight

I can Teach you to Fly, but not Guide the Flight
Lorena Vara González

Written and verified by the psychologist Lorena Vara González.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

When you become a mother, when that small part of you that has been throbbing inside you for 9 months at last emerges, all your fears become stronger. You realize that there is no greater uncertainty than giving wings to a child and teaching them how to fly. After all, new mothers know that when their baby eventually leaves the nest, they will have to design their own paths.

Maybe that’s why becoming a mother is one of the most beautiful and, at the same time, most terrifying experiences. It’s not only about giving life, but also about teaching another how to live it. It’s about being aware of our own imperfections and mistakes. As new mothers we must grow as our children grow.

Your delivery date is the only blind date in which you know, before anything happens, that you will meet someone who will mark you.  and whom you will mark . . .  forever. 

New mothers and fathers

Before giving birth new mothers often have doubts

Before giving birth, long before the child starts flying for himself, first-time mothers are a sea of doubts. From how she should eat to whether she can do sports while pregnant, the first time mother has much to think about. To this, we add the thousands of books on motherhood and the good, though often overwhelming advice, of women who have already been mothers.

Advice can often contradict what medical professionals recommend. So what can we do to be good mothers and avoid making mistakes? Although it sounds contradictory, the first thing we must do is assume that we are going to make a mistake. We are not perfect, and all mothers before us have made mistakes as well, without serious consequences.

The best guide to motherhood will always be yourself. After all, no one knows your body as well as you do. Furthermore, new mothers know that after giving birth, no one will recognize the different cries of your baby as well as you. Will you have doubts? Of course – this is a new experience. However, medical staff will always be there to advise you in the most correct way possible and help steer you away from the false myths about motherhood that may be harmful.

Mom, your arms were always opened when I wanted a hug. Your heart understood when I needed a friend. Those tender eyes hardened when I needed a lesson. Your strength and your love guided me, and gave me wings to fly. 

Mother and daughter

When children decide to leave the nest

Once our children grow up, motherhood becomes a real improvisation exercise. Nobody is born with all the knowledge they need in life, and often we have no idea about the situations and dilemmas that we will have to face. We go through life with the help of all the advice and ideas we get from others, and from our own intuition.

For new mothers, the trick is to teach the path that best represents the values you would like reflected in your children and invite them to explore it. This means teaching them how to fly, to choose their path and to plan, but they will be the ones to decide the fate of their flight.

They will make mistakes. They will make decisions that you do not like. You will see them suffer and cry, but they will also laugh and evolve. This is one of the best parts of motherhood and it will make you proud to see them grow and mature. Knowing that you have given the best of yourself so that your children can fly by themselves. Watching them leave the nest with the courage and responsibility that goes with the arduous task of choosing their own destiny. This will be what completes that joy that began to beat at the same time as their hearts.

“You will teach them to fly,

but they won’t fly your flight.

You will teach them how to dream,

but they will not dream your dreams.

You will teach them to live,

but they won’t live your life. . . 

Nevertheless. . .

in each flight, in each dream, in each life,

you will be in them, the seed of a road thought and learned.”

-Teresa of Calcutta 


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.