I Don't Need a Partner to Shine My Own Light

I Don't Need a Partner to Shine My Own Light

Last update: 10 June, 2017

Although many people think the opposite, you don’t have to have a partner to shine your own light. You came into the world with a star already inside you, the same star that guides you through the dark nights. And when the opportunity arises and it feels so inclined, it chooses to dance with another star that shines just as brightly.

Plato wisely said that “at the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.” Suddenly, we find strength when we thought it was lost, and the world shines even brighter. This emotional ecstasy deserves to experienced. However, passion isn’t the only state that humans can experience. It’s also possible to shine in solitude, in that state of calm and personal satisfaction where nothing is in excess and nothing is lacking. 

“There are two ways to spread happiness; either be the light who shines it or be the mirror who reflects it.”

-Edith Wharton-

A partner can bring you vitality, happiness, sex, tenderness, and intimacy. However, it’s important to understand that you can’t use your partner as a magic potion to fix your dissatisfaction with life. If you don’t shine from within, you can’t just snatch the other person’s light away, hoping that their energy will be enough for the two of you. It will last for a limited time, but it will slowly fade away.

These days, most of us are stuck in preconceived notions about ideal love. We think that we need it to make our frustrations disappear. However, frustrations can’t disappear, be destroyed, or escape through the holes of our broken dreams. Rather, you have to overcome them yourself.

butterfly flying towards light bulb

Shine with your own light

Moths are sad yet fascinating creatures. They exhibit positive phototaxis, or in other words, they feel attracted to light. The moon, for example, guides and orients them during their nocturnal migration and mating rituals. But due to all the artificial light pollution, their numbers are decreasing. Similarly, in their absolute attraction to light, it’s common to see them die as they fly around the light bulbs in our houses.

Great are those who don’t need to put out someone else’s light in order to shine. 

A similar thing happens with romantic relationships. Some people have their own light; they’re almost like light bulbs in the midst of darkness. They shine because they enjoy personal fulfillment, a good self-esteem, and a fascinating magical quality that is hypnotic to many people. It’s common for others to feel captivated by them, and so they initiate relationships with them hoping that their calm and light will alleviate their fear, dissatisfaction, and silent gloom.