How to Detect Insecurity in Your Children

How to Detect Insecurity in Your Children

Last update: 28 July, 2022

We are used to talking about the insecurity that predominates among adults, but what happens with children? They too are part of this world, and many of them also suffer problems of stress, insecurity, and sometimes depression.

“Children learn little from words; only your actions and their coherence with words will do”

-Joan Manuel Serrat-

Why is my child insecure?

Children are quite defenseless, especially those under the age of 6. Their innocence and lack of ability to deal with certain emotions and problems makes them easy targets for manipulation, both physical and mental.

We are not born knowing and only through experience can we learn the best way to deal with the various circumstances we may suffer from. Furthermore, children absorb everything that surrounds them. Surely you have heard someone say that they are “like sponges.”

Family arguments, pressure put on them, lack of attention from their parents, all of these things can give them great insecurity. Do you give them the attention they need? Do you worry about their problems?

“The best legacy a father can leave his children is a bit of his time each day”

Sometimes we think that everything that happens to them is silly, and most of the time, it is! But for them, it is not silly. They are new to this world and they are learning. Children need you to understand them and communicate with them. If not, they will become insecure.

Help your child overcome their insecurity

It is important to always give your child a helping hand so they can overcome their insecurity issues. If we do not, we can turn them into an insecure adult who does not know how to solve this problem.

If we detect the problem, it is good to get to work as soon as possible and start taking measures to reestablish our child’s sense of security. On the other hand, think: what will happen when they start adolescence? In this stage, they will have to deal with many more problems. Do not let insecurity be one of those.

How can I tell that my child is suffering from insecurity? What signs give this way?

  • They are suffering a sort of dependence pertaining to their hygiene, which is often left in their mother’s able hands.
  • They show behavior where emotional instability, disobedience, or aggression dominate.
  • When it is playtime, they tend to play games below their age, repeat the same game, or demonstrate fear.
  • They suffer from irrational fears and cry to get attention.
  • They start talking in their sleep, suffering insomnia, asking to sleep with the light on or for you to tell them a story.
  • Problems concentrating at school.
  • They make funny faces or other oral and bodily expressions that are not normal.
  • They have an object (blankie, stuffed animal…) that they are inseparable from.

When your child has a problem, do not call it “silly” because maybe you are preventing them from being happy in the future.

Building self-esteem

Instead of getting angry with our child for irrationally holding onto an object or for their disobedience, it is more important for us to talk to them. Reprimanding them will not solve the problem; our child needs us to put ourselves in their shoes, not for us to turn into their worst enemy.

If we do not know how to act, we can talk to their teachers or with a professional who can teach us how to increase our child’s self-esteem so that they will stop being insecure. Self-esteem will be the best solution to this terrible situation that is very hard to solve, even when we are adults.


Think about the fact that if you decide not do pay attention to these symptoms and you let them go, you may reinforce your child becoming a very sad person, with very low self-esteem and a strong predisposition to depression. This will make life a painful experience, full of limitations and emotions that we do not know how to handle.

As parents, we have a responsibility to teach our children to be happy

We were all children once, but we forget the importance of everything we feel and experience in these first stages of our lives. We also forget how much everything we experience as children influences us at later stages of life, causing problems that are difficult to overcome. The time to solve all of this is now!

Will you let your child become an insecure person?

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.