Dear Self, I Deserve to Be Treated Better

· March 19, 2016

Dear self, I deserve to be treated better. I’ll take advantage of this moment in front of the mirror to tell you how you make me feel. Have you ever stopped to think that everything you say to me, you say to yourself, too?

I’ve tolerated all kinds of things, from invalidation to criticism. Why are you so unfriendly towards me? Maybe you’ve forgotten that we are the same person?

I want you to know that this is not a letter of complaint; you do enough of that for me. What I want to achieve with this letter is for you to understand that you have many things that you don’t see. Stop only paying attention to the things that hurt us.

Stop pitying yourself

Dear self, how many times have I listened to you complain about me? You don’t show much respect for who we are. Self pity seems to be one of your favorite sports, and you never let yourself see the good things we have.

dramatic woman

You just go through life asking yourself why you don’t have what you deserve. But have you ever thought that you might have more than you realize? For a moment, I’d like you to stop in front of the mirror, and instead of criticizing your nose or your belly, be thankful for the legs that let you move.

Maybe you don’t see it this way, but self-pity will not achieve anything. At least if it were constructive criticism that made you do something about it, it would be worth it.


Stop calling me names

Every time you have the opportunity, you think of a new name to call me. The problem is that it’s never even mildly pleasant. Dear self, what if you put in a little effort and finally understood that your physical characteristics don’t define you? Seriously! Think about it and you’ll see that it’s true.

Instead of calling me “fat,” you could call me “friendly.” Seriously, stop looking at me in a negative way. You’re more than that. You are intelligent, nice, friend, father, mother.

If it’s true that the defect that bothers you so much is really that big of a deal, work towards changing it. It will not do anything to go through life complaining about yourself over and over again. Honestly, I’d love to see you work on your interior as much as your exterior.

Surround me with people who love us

Dear self, it’s already a huge burden to deal with the names you call me. But when you also meet with friends whose only aim is to criticize me, that’s not nice. Have you ever thought that maybe you surround yourself with too many toxic relationships?

I don’t only deserve you to treat me better; you could also make an effort to socialize with people who make you better. People who help you see the good things about yourself and who make each day a little better.

Leave behind all the gossip, all the foolishness that solves nothing. Why don’t you get along better with that friend who tells you that you look beautiful every time she sees you? You are, you just need to believe it.

Challenge us

couch under a chandelier

When was the last time that you did something you didn’t think we could do? Dear self, sometimes I think that you don’t really know me. You’re afraid of challenging yourself because you’re afraid you’ll fail. What’s ironic is that you already failed when you conviced yourself that we couldn’t do it.

It doesn’t matter what it is, but I want you to challenge me to go further. Let’s break some limits and achieve our dreams. I’m trying to talk to you through desires and hopes, but you only respond with reality.

Can you tell me what reality is? Because the way I see it, reality is only what you accept to be real. Let me show you all the potential that you have!

Dear self, be yourself

The last thing I want to ask of you is to go back to being yourself. Between so many obligations, fears, doubts, and frustrations, I don’t know where we are anymore. I’m just asking you to go back to being the child who laughed out loud and dreamed.

I know that live is hard and that you’ve been disappointed. I also know that you’ve cried many times because your heart was broken. But that’s life: loving, growing, laughing, crying, hoping, and starting again.

Please don’t throw me aside. Dear self, I am you and all I’m asking is that we live with passion, as if the world were about to end. I don’t know if tomorrow we’ll be here to try again.