The Mirror Syndrome

· December 30, 2015

The thoughts and feelings we have when we look in the mirror can affect the way we relate to others and also to ourselves. The so-called “mirror syndrome” is more common than we think.

The habit of looking at and analyzing ourselves in front of the mirror reflects our need to learn about our body and to analyze any supposed “defects,” before others find them.

Mirror syndrome refers to an obsession with our reflection and a tendency to distort it in our minds until we see defects or magnify the ones we believe we have. It could be said that this object that we have in the bedroom, the bathroom, or any place in our house, is the mediator in a relationship.

In the majority of cases, the relationship composed of a “person and their image” is quite different. It can transform into an unhealthy relationship full of problems, sufferings, difficulties, worries, fights, etc.

Just like what happens when you live with someone, we have to learn to live daily with our body and above all, with what we see in the mirror, which is nothing more than a projection we make ourselves.

“Mirror, mirror on the wall…who is fairest of them all?” said the evil queen in the story of Snow White. She did the impossible so she could always see herself as young and beautiful.


In reality we do not have potions or spells to make us happy, the fountain of youth does not exist, but there is the ability to love ourselves as we are and above all, to accept ourselves, regardless of age, the pounds, the wrinkles, or the inches.

Mirror syndrome becomes a pathological tendency when it originates from cases of bulimia and anorexia, two disorders that are very common in adolescents and above all in women. It does not matter how slim they become, girls (and some boys also) always see themselves as fat and ugly, a product of a distortion at the cognitive level.

How can you overcome mirror disorder?

In the first place, you have to set aside prejudices and comparisons. We are not better or worse than others, only different.

Fatter, skinnier, taller, shorter, prettier, uglier…they are only arbitrary assessments. Style is always changing and beauty standards as well. And if not, take a look at the paintings from three centuries ago.

Every one of us is beautiful in our own particular way, we are unique and irreplaceable, the most beautiful beings in all of creation. This does not mean that we should become narcissistic and admire our reflection all the time, above everything and everyone else, showing off how good and beautiful we are, but rather we should learn to love ourselves and accept ourselves as we really are.

On the other hand, it is vital to begin to laugh at yourself, at your mistakes, and at what we don’t like. A touch of humor will relieve our life and will improve the relationship we have with our body and also with others.

It is also essential to become our own best friends and accomplices. What does this mean? Don’t prejudge the image you see in the mirror. If you are in good spirits, happy and satisfied, do you really care about the size of your hips, belly or nose?

And as a key measure, we should love ourselves so that later we can love others, and they can love us. If we do not respect ourselves, no one will.

The only person you have permission to compare yourself with is you and not anyone else. You just fight and improve yourself every day, be a better person and develop new skills. You can analyze how you were yesterday and today, but not criticize, to know how to act to transcend.

Our body is only a reflection of our internal state. Beyond what has to do with health, we should not worry ourselves about how our body looks. Surely you will have a different perception from the image in the mirror, if you look at yourself one day when you are sad and compare it when another in which you feel happy.

The moment we accept ourselves exactly how we are, we will have the ability to laugh at ourselves and our errors and mistakes, without bothering ourselves about the reflection in the mirror; that is when we are truly balanced and happy people.

When we can laugh at ourselves, then we have the ability to do so with others.