The Spiral of Complaints

January 3, 2016

How much do you complain throughout the day? Stop for a moment and think about it…

Every one of us usually has a collection of complaints waiting to be released. We complain about work, about our partner, about that friend, about how we were treated at the last restaurant we went to….The list could go on and on.

If your misfortune has a solution, why are you complaining?

If it does not have one, why are you complaining?

– Eastern Proverb –

Complaining is becoming an addiction in today’s society. It’s a vicious cycle. After having thrown out everything that did not feel good to us, we return to our normal routine, while the complaints little by little are buried and forgotten, only to return again at the next “trigger.”

There are people that make complaining a way of life. There is not a single day in which something does not happen that they want to complain about.

We can use complaining sometimes as a way to unload or as an escape valve, but the problem comes when we hold on to it and we make it into something indispensable in our lives. In this way, we focus our attention on the negative.

If we think about it, the spiral of complaints does not take us anywhere; on the contrary, it paralyzes us. Psychologist Joan Garriga affirms that, “Complaining lowers our vitality.”

Complaining does not change situations, nor does it change the people or the things, it only informs others that we are not happy with reality.

Complaining does not solve anything, apart from being a way to just let off some steam. But when complaining is repetitive, it does not even provide this release, rather, it’s useless as it does not provide solutions.

Do you believe that because you complain a lot the situations are going to seem different? Or that everything will be resolved as if by magic?

Sometimes, complaining also indicates a lack of accountability to people and situations, or enjoying being a victim.

Surely you know someone who complains about their situation but does nothing to resolve it. They only want to talk about it, focusing on the negative, without looking for solutions or alternatives. It has been settled.

You must keep in mind that when we complain, we blame others or circumstances for our unhappiness, and we remain exempt from all responsibility, as if our well-being depends on the outside world. And we are victims of our reality.

Complaining is not empowering. It’s a way of refusing to accept and assume responsibility, crippling action and blocking the future.

When we complain, we are declaring that things have not gone as we thought they would or that the other person has not acted as we wanted, and so we are asking for a resolution. But the complaint is not resolved from the outside, but rather from our interior.

It is not worth anything to complain if afterward you do not put yourself to the task of finding solutions or alternatives. Even sometimes just stopping, observing, and understanding what happened will be sufficient. It is our decision to direct our energy to living or dying little by little.

Let us ask ourselves sincerely what the complaint serves us, or if it will allow us to discover what it is that we need.

Today, there is an initiative through the internet that is proposing that we stop complaining about everyday things. The authors of this movement, Blancpain and Pelgrims, express the importance and the benefits of giving up complaining for a month. On one hand, we will find a higher level of happiness and on the other, we’ll gain a deeper understand of how we communicate with those around us, they affirmed.

And you, could you spend an entire month without complaining?