You’ve Never Seen Me Naked or Listened to My Dreams

· September 19, 2017

You’ve never seen me naked or listened to my dreams. The passage of time has put my dreams on hold, and we thought we’d find each other again. Now I’ve realized that I’ve wasted so much time waiting and daydreaming. If you’re really in love, there’s nothing that should change. The desire to be together and face difficulties together should simply increase over time.

I’ve also realized that the intimate encounters we idealize so much are nothing more than a cloud of dust that distracts you from knowing the truth about the person you’re embracing. Getting naked in front of someone is showing that you’re betting on making it, despite the pitfalls and drama along the way. Now I realize that all my nakedness showed was my vulnerability, but you didn’t understand the meaning of the surrender behind it.

Getting naked isn’t the same as undressing the soul

Even when you’re naked, what goes through your mind is true intimacy, which is sometimes impassive and motionless, mixed between touch and passion. You’re quiet as you think that you might hinder the growth of passion.

“I don’t like to invest in fantasies, because up until now, they’ve brought me to your hips but not your heart.”

-Joaquín Sabina-


couple hugging

You have conversations about the future, about what you expect and what you avoid, about how you become speechless when it’s a real embrace. But how can you believe in the language of a hug if it’s just a moment for one person and an eternity for the other? When two souls are at peace, war shouldn’t be declared in silence. It’s good to talk about fears, expectations, and feelings.

How can the relationship develop normally if you don’t know your partner’s dreams, ideas about life, or what makes them happy? How can you turn a blind eye to one person feeling so strongly, while the other person feels trapped?

Get naked in front of your partner to achieve true intimacy

Anybody who surrenders to another person expects nothing less than the same quality of intimacy in return. But they expect it without asking for all the kisses, hugs, passion, and everything else inside them to rise to the surface. Because when you hide how you feel, it isn’t free love; it makes you a prisoner.

upset woman

You can’t enjoy romantic love if you hide your hopes and dreams from your partner. People may hide these things due to the fear of being hurt, an unconscious desire, or the avoidance that comes with a poor understanding of commitment. Commitment isn’t serving a sentence, it’s releasing yourself from one when you really live true to how you feel.

You might be willing to wait for the fear to go away, but you might still be waiting when your life ends without knowing who you really are. Maybe that’s a risk that you don’t want to take, but if you avoid taking it, you’ll never know how somebody might fit into your dreams, more than just in your nakedness.

The Zeigarnik effect

There’s no worse nostalgia than longing for what never existed, and there’s no worse certainty than knowing that something good is lost forever. They say that open endings and unfinished stories are more enchanting, that people remember uncompleted or interrupted tasks better. This is known as the Zeigarnik effect in psychology and memory studies.

However, effects that apply to memory don’t apply to desire or regret. Having something you want and love be cut short is a regret that will never be remembered fondly. Rather, it just shows how cowardly you were in that moment. You just stay quiet and naked, having lost a love that will get dragged into oblivion.

Knowing My Vulnerability Allows Me To Move Forward