Strategies to Leave Behind a Difficult Childhood

27, January 2016 in Psychology 0 Shared
boy childhood black and white

A difficult childhood is not, by any means, a good starting point for life. Children completely depend on the adults that surround them and hope that they protect them and help them grow. However, sometimes, those adults do exactly the opposite.

In these cases, a child becomes an innocent victim of the mistakes of others. He or she has to pay for something for which they are not responsible.

Although a child will always carry with them the burden of abuse and the deficiencies of their childhood, when they arrive to adulthood they can actively stop being a victim. If they can then tackle the situation with courage and maturity, they have the possibility of reaching a feeling of fulfillment and happiness.

Wounds can heal and a painful past can transform into strength to become better. 
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One of the tasks that must be completed to overcome an unhappy childhood is to rewrite one’s storyNow we will tell you a few other ways a person can confront a difficult past.

young girl sad childhood black and white

Stop blaming others 

Pointing fingers and doling out blame can be extremely gratifying. It gives a person an upper hand on others and leaves them feeling free from responsibility. However, over time, it only perpetuates the cycle of negativity caused by an unhappy childhood.

Forget it once and for all: nobody is going to completely repair the damage done. It happened. Period. Blaming others does not change anything. It only just gives momentary satisfaction which does not improve the situation at all.

If what the individual wants once they reach adulthood is to overcome the deep, negative impressions left by a difficult childhood, they must stop blaming others. They have their own burdens and directing the blame towards them will not help the hurt individual to be firm and put everything in order. That only happens in fiction.

Learn how to defend oneself 

Traumatic childhood experiences create an accumulation of anger which gets dispersed in different areas of life. A person can become miserable and explode at any little thing. The opposite may also happen in which a person becomes incapable of expressing serious and aggressive feelings.

In reality, learning to stand up for oneself is not as easy as many people think, but it is a skill needed to limit abusive behaviors. If an individual reacts aggressively in response to abuse, and defends themselves like a wild animal, this may work for the time being, but it will also give rise to a series of conflicts and new episodes of abuse.

If the person becomes emotionally paralyzed in the face of abuse and doesn’t know how to react, or they become frightened, it will also establish within that person a chain of successive violence. To defend oneself effectively is to prevent the abuser from deciding how one should behave. 

Maintaining control of one’s emotions allows any struggle to be won and teaches the abuser a lesson. A person who knows how to channel and control their anger is able to achieve great successes in life. 

Work hard and become economically independent 

As strange as it may seem, voluntarily completing undesirable tasks significantly helps people to overcome traumas of childhood.  When the decision to complete the task is made, it is as if the person is able to leave themselves behind: they are able to trust in themselves and in their ability to do what they set out to do.

If the individual did not receive love from others in the past, they will learn to love themselves. Because doing this is difficult, a person can’t forget to give themselves a pat on the back and tell themselves they are a good person, that they are worth something, and how great it is to have been able to make a sacrifice in the name of their own self-esteem.

arms crossed close-up

To help achieve this goal, it is important to accumulate savings and not waste money.  Save a little of each paycheck. Decisively seek economic independence

Attitude matters, and if will and confidence is there, the goal will be achieved. There are millions of people in the world who don’t believe in themselves and that their goals are possible, to the point where they hold themselves back and don’t put in any effort.

Additionally, it cannot be forgotten that professional help can also be a valuable support to anyone in finally leaving behind an unfortunate and sad childhood that, time after time, blocks the path to the future and traps the victim in fear, indecision, and negativity.

It can be achieved. 

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