There Is A Story Behind Every Person
Each one of us, throughout life, goes through moments, lives through experiences, and meets certain people that, inevitably, will leave a mark on us. Even those circumstances or people that we believe would pass through unnoticed seem to reappear in some way later in our lives.
This affects our experiences and our feelings, in ways that may be intense or passive, that we may be aware of or not even conscious they are happening; they give us light and darkness, and all the tones in-between.
We are only able to understand and interpret things from our own perspective and point of view, which we form based on our own life experiences. So, how do we know what someone else’s perspective may be? What do we know about their feelings?
It is already complicated to delve into the depths of our own minds and try to understand ourselves; how are are going to know what the intentions and motivations of others are? How can we know how that person is experiencing a given situation?
We spend half our life trying to figure others out, and almost the other half judging their behaviors, as if we did not have enough on our own minds already.
Each person has a story and shows sensitivity towards some aspects of the lives of other people. Situations that we may find simple or easy to take on, or in which we are able to express ourselves clearly, may not be so easy for someone else.
“The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.”
-Carl Gustav Jung-
“If I were Mary, I would relax a little more…” “I don’t understand why Ralph doesn’t leave his wife, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate it…” “I would never be able to live like Christina…”
Maybe that person had a mother who constantly disapproved of her, who told her she was never was good enough, and for that reason she has become a perfectionist, with the constant feeling that she could be better.
Or maybe that person had a relationship with someone who criticized him all the time, and now he feels completely unable to see the situation as it truly is.
Perhaps that person always wanted affection that her parents never gave her, so she is constantly searching for that love and affection, or maybe she is reluctant to receive the care and kindness of others. Every story has more than one side; every question has more than one answer.
If we found ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we would do different things. However, we are not them, nor have we lived their lives. We only know the little we know about ourselves, and I say “little” because sometimes we think we will react a certain way but when we find ourselves in the actual situation, we may have a different reaction or behave in a different way…
We should look beyond the obvious and the superficial and keep in mind that each person has their own story, their own background. Everyone has a certain set of experiences, feelings, emotions, encounters, of biological and personal variables that we have to add up to be able to understand the situation and context of their lives. Blind judgment does not accomplish anything.
We should be aware of our tendency to pass judgment. It’s only by listening to others and keeping in mind that their perspective is formed from their own story, their own experiences and feelings, that we can try to understand them. Sometimes, however, it is impossible for us to fully understand, and that may be due to our own story and our own experiences.
Always remember that beneath every exterior there is a person, a strong but sensitive soul that has its own wounds and scars, that has its own story.