How to Handle Manipulative People

How to Handle Manipulative People

Last update: 20 November, 2015

Without realizing it, we can become caught up in relationships with manipulative people who try to change our ways of thinking or acting for their own benefit. There are different categories of manipulators, depending on the type of control that they use to manipulate us. If the pressure is really high, experts call this “narcissistic depravity” and this is what we are going to talk about in this article.

It’s very likely that you have seen various movies, read books or listened to stories about people who manipulate their partners, children, friends, etc. This personality type exists in every family but we aren’t always aware of the situation. What’s more is that we can end up being the victims of manipulation without even realizing it.

Narcissists, as some psychologists call these type of manipulators, are those who are constantly telling the other person what to do in a subtle way (or sometimes not), but at a very scary level of effectiveness that limits the other person’s freedom. These people often also demonstrate other types of negative behavior. Examples include excessive emotion, aggressive and threatening behavior and a continuous lack of respect or disdain.

This type of person behaves this way 24 hours a day, without changing. The relationship they have with their victim has been fixed in this way and there is nothing that can change it. Unless they themselves begin to suffer from the manipulation, they will not modify their behavior.

Above all, in relationships with a manipulative person, a lot of time can pass until the victim realizes what is happening. The manipulator doesn’t wish to hear about what anyone else wants, thinks that everyone else is always wrong, that people purposely do things to upset them, etc.

At some point, although it isn’t clear why, the person suffering at the hands of the manipulator begins to open their eyes and see what is going on.

Think about what a spider does with its prey: it traps it in a web until it is ready to eat. Something similar happens with manipulators, preying on their victim’s positive energy.

However, it isn’t just the victim who has deficiencies or problems, it’s important to remember that narcissists need help, too.

Although everyone complements one another within their relationships, the one who has the most to lose is the manipulator, not the victim. The reason for this is because the manipulator needs the victim to “feed off of”, whether it be their intellectual ability, kindness, charisma, support, self-esteem, friendship, work, health, etc.

We always talk about the characteristics of manipulators and how we realize if someone is controlling us. But sometimes we don’t realize when someone is controlling us because we believe this person just innocently behaves the way they do in order to ask for help. We aren’t saying that the manipulator isn’t responsible for their own actions, however we have to look at the past problems that have led up to their behavior or their deepest needs.

When a narcissist is met with someone difficult to control, they tend to use this person as a place to put all of their past trauma. A manipulator acts out when the victim allows them to. There are even cases when the manipulator doesn’t realize what is happening, either.

Manipulators are jealous of what the other person has and will use their “tools” in order to get what they want. The victim can’t see the maneuvers used against them and are blinded by their love for the manipulator and won’t take any negative action against them.

But this can affect the victim’s mind and emotions, much in the same way a drop of water hitting a rock over thousands of years can erode it. Some people have dealt with manipulators in the past and will rely on their own internal weapons to ensure that they don’t get caught up in the manipulator’s “web”.

But remember, no one is 100% immune to this personality type. Some people know perfectly how to manipulate in an almost imperceptible way until the other person becomes their “puppet.”

Be very careful with the people you choose to get close to. It’s not a matter of feeling constantly threatened or persecuted, but staying safe in your relationships. And don’t skip on introspection, either. It will help you objectively determine if you have the type of personality that can easily be manipulated.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.