The Situations We Attract Are a Reflection of What We Need

· July 12, 2017

Our mental landscape is a mix of our fears, nostalgias, desires and the things we think about. As such, the people we attract tend to somehow reflect our beliefs, about ourselves and about everything else, which we treasure.

Many times, we allow people into our lives that we would never have thought would fit in. People who are different from us and who help us understand, heal and forgive ourselves as well as everyone else.

At times, we attract people who push buttons we didn’t even know we had. People with characteristics we would never accept in ourselves, attitudes that we can’t see in ourselves but that we can see in others. In a sense, perhaps we attract these people so that they can help us to fight our own internal battle. 

Complaining about what we have in our life is the same as despising ourselves. 

Why Do We Attract the Wrong People?

Many people complain about their love life, but interestingly, they always attract people who do not value them, who neglect them or who do not make them a priority. Thus, if you tend to attract people who lie and deceive you, it could be because you do not value yourself and your self-esteem is damaged. In this way, your lack of self-esteem is what turns you into the perfect victim for them and what attracts them to you. 

On the other hand, allowing relationships that are “out of whack” without a good reason is an unequivocal sign that something is wrong with us internally. If we leave room for these relationships, we put ourselves in a sphere of influence and it is likely that we will end up lying, deceiving and characterizing ourselves as something completely different than what we are and how we want to be.


Self-knowledge is key to attract the proper people in our lives.

Why do we only attract the wrong people? It all stems from the fact that we are a reflection of what we attract, the level of value we see in ourselves is the same level that the people we attract tend to have, and why we accept the love we think we deserve. Furthermore, fear of change will prompt us to look for someone whom we feel comfortable with, which is why we will always follow the same pattern.

“We live in the past yet it is dead. If we live the way we have lived until now, the future will be the same as the past. Work on yourselves, change something about yourself in the present, then the future may be different.”

-G.I. Gurdjieff

What We Attract Is What We Need

The less evolved we are, the more complicated and painful situations we will attract. When we attract contentious people and situations, in reality we are attracting a change and personal evolution. The biggest lessons come from times of crisis, it was best said by Seneca, “adversity is a time for virtue.”

True maturity happens by accepting everything that happens to us as perfect because this is the process to perfection. Appreciating that the problems we have are, in large part, an opportunity to grow will help us to improve. On the contrary, viewing ourselves as a failure is only a way of throwing away our aspirations.

Think seriously about it, without neglect, without rejection, never giving up, would you be the same person you are today? At least in my case, without all the negative I’ve had to endure, I would not be able to enjoy life today the way I am doing so.

All that happens is perfect because this is the process to perfection.

I have been a very lucky person. Nothing has been easy for me.