The People Who Are Always There for You Need Attention Too

The People Who Are Always There for You Need Attention Too
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Some people are like guardian angels, always by our side to give us care and attention. They make our lives easier, not only because they bring about wonderful things, but also because they protect us from pain.

They give us care and affection so that we’ll feel appreciated, safe, and supported when life gets complicated or when we feel upset or disappointed about something that’s important to us. They’re always there for us, knowing just what to say or do to make us feel better.

The people who are always there for everyone else tend not to shed their own tears if they can avoid it. But what about when their daily lives become too overwhelming? They also deserve attention without having to ask for it.

guy comforting girl

Why we should pay attention to those who take care of us

Consider the affection you receive from people who devote their attention to you as some kind of reward. It’s extremely important that we show the same courtesy to these emotional guides that help us move through life.

They could be our parents, grandparents, siblings, friends, or partners. Or even a coworker who always does their best to help us with our work, make our day, or improve our mood.

We often don’t value the fact that their favorable attitude is one that they chose freely, and which deserves recognition.

These people act with kindness, support, affection, and attention, without asking for anything in return, even recognition. So we should at least be by their side and take care of them too when they need it.

couple petting a cat

Ways to show attention, affection, and interest

Even though we might neglect showing attention, affection, and interest to the people who love us, there are many ways to do so.

How? Through little actions. You don’t need to put on a huge show to make someone you appreciate feel special or to thank the people you love for being there for you. Here are some key points:

  • Don’t demand anything from them, not even that they be there for you. If they do it, it’s because they want to, not because they’re obligated to. Try not to directly or indirectly demand that they to do anything for you.
  • Make a habit of paying attention to the details of their daily lives: sincerely asking how they are, listening attentively, and talking about their experiences and feelings is key to maintaining balance.
  • Be understanding. Maybe sometimes they don’t want to listen to you or they don’t pay as much attention to you as they usually do. This doesn’t mean that you’re not important to them, it just means that they’re focused on other things.
  • Show affection when the circumstances require it, and recognize how hard they work to be there for everyone all the time. They should also know that they have someone they can count on by their side.
stone angels

Being compliant is very different from being attentive

It’s also important to know the difference between someone who is attentive and someone who is overly compliant. Being attentive and caring for someone does not violate their right to freedom and self-determination.

However, living to please others often results in a loss of identity and the freedom to do, be, and love whatever we please. The person who tries to please also ends up feeling frustrated, because they’ll never be able to please everyone.

In this sense, it’s important to work on our self-esteem and establishing our desires, thoughts, and actions. In light of this, we must remember that before we worry about the well-being of others, we should make sure first that our own needs are met.

woman holding a heart

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.