I Listen to Everyone, But I Decide Myself

I Listen to Everyone, But I Decide Myself

Last update: 09 November, 2016

There are some songs that say that life is better understood over good coffee with good friends, perhaps because the best conversations and the most useful pieces of advice arise in these situations. In fact, when I have to make an important decision, those coffees are pure energy. Over coffee, I listen to my friends, although in the end I always decide myself.

And by getting coffee, I mean either that or any other intimate moment with the people you care about. Having contact with the important people in your life is extremely beneficial for your emotional health and helps you manage the complicated situations that you have to face every day.

Letting your inner self express how it feels to the people in your closest social circle has various advantages, especially in uncomfortable situations where you feel completely confused. Many difficult paths will open up in front of you, and having company on your journey will give you stability.

“The tree of life is communication with friends;

getting results, relaxing, and trusting in them.”

-Francisco de Quevedo-

Listening helps you see what you didn’t see before

The biggest advantage of being heard is being able to listen to another perspective. Your problems overwhelm you, put pressure on you, and burden you with responsibility, so another person’s point of view can help you work through unknowns.

coffee with friends

Imagine that you have a job, and that you like what you do. However, there are a few reasons why you might leave your job, such as being closer to your family. In this situation, you’re offered another job that has nothing to do with what you want to do, but it would allow you to be closer to your loved ones. Which decision would you make?

It’s very difficult to find yourself in the middle of all that and understand what each decision would bring. This is why you go to the people who are always there for you and tell them everything. They can give you their perspective, help you see different pros and cons that you didn’t see before, and in the end, you can make the decision yourself.

Other people can influence your decisions

Every time you make a decision, there’s always the possibility of making a mistake, given that taking the risk to make a change always involves losing something, and that’s something you’ll just have to accept. As a consequence, here’s the second great advantage: the more a problem clouds your vision, the more you’ll need the strength and wisdom of other people.

How many times have you wanted someone to listen to you, when all you were really looking for was the strength to make a decision? I decide myself, yes, but sometimes I need a push, a hug, a word of support, for someone else to say that whatever happens, happens.

“The person who loses most  because they were incapable of listening to others is oneself.”

-Jorge González Moore-

That is, other people can influence your final decision, because their caring advice reminds you that above all, they love you, and they’re only trying to help you find the best for yourself.

I decide, because the results are mine to deal with

Behind the whole idea of “I listen to everyone, but I decide myself” is the reality that one’s own life decisions can depend on many people, but the consequences are always your own.


It’s completely beneficial, as I’ve said, to let other people contribute their own point of view about the options, but we are the sole owners of our actions. Nobody else is responsible for something that only affects you, nobody else is responsible for the mistakes of your decisions, and nobody else will carry the weight of the path you choose.

“Because nobody can know for you. Nobody can grow for you. Nobody can seek for you.  Nobody can do for you what you should do for yourself.  Existence does not allow for representatives.”

-Jorge Bucay-

So keeping all of this in mind, don’t deny yourself the chance to listen to someone else just because you don’t agree with what they say, or because you think their opinions don’t come from a place of kindness. It’s good to open your mind to other perspectives, as long as you don’t completely lose your own. You know what you need and how you need to get it. You can only live for yourself, decide for yourself, and act for yourself.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.