You Don’t Need Others’ Permission to Live the Life You Desire

· May 14, 2016

Are you free to do what you wish? Do you feel like you need permission to have the life you want? What if I tell you that you don’t need any other permission than your very own?

You’re the one that has to decide what to do and how to do it. Don’t wait for the approval of others.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
-Steve Jobs-
happy free woman in a field

The world that should be

We live in a world with established norms. We’re taught that you have to eat more salad and less chocolate to be more beautiful, to give an example. We grow up believing that there’s an ideal world and that it’s our job to reach it.

Reality is far different. The world we’ve been taught to seek isn’t real. It’s time to stop believing that you can only be happy if you manage to have a perfect house and family.


Do you know what you truly desire in life? Many of us go through our lives believing that we’re following our dreams, when we’re simply seeking what we’ve been taught to seek.

When you understand this, you’ll realize that the first thing you need in order to have the life you want is to know what it is you want. Then it’s easy to find a path and establish your goals.

When was the last time you asked yourself what you wanted?

The amount of things we do to be accepted is incredible. From going to a party that you know you won’t enjoy to choosing to major in a subject that someone “suggested” for you.

When we’re little we learn that certain behaviors are accepted and others are inappropriate. Then you grow up with the idea that you have to do the right thing in order to be accepted.

And you spend your life like that, filling yourself with obligations and goals that don’t even interest you or you don’t even want. Over time, your essence becomes lost and you don’t even remember where.

Have you ever asked yourself what you wanted?

girl with questions

Break the cycle

It’s easy to believe that once you accomplish all of the goals that have been set by others you’ll finally be able to go after your own.

But all those “shoulds” become like a snowball, and unless you stop it, it won’t stop growing. But, how can you stop it? There’s no magic formula, but the following steps can help you out:

  1. Think about your life and analyze if you’re happy or if you’d like to have a different life. Leave aside all of the external noise and focus on yourself. Think about what you would do if you could choose anything right now. If you imagine yourself doing the same thing and being happy, go ahead. You’re one of the lucky few that has the life they want.
  2. Make a list of the things that keep you from having the life you want. If on the previous step you realized that you want a different life, think about what that life is like. Then make a list of the things that keep you tied to what makes you unhappy. 
  3. What alternatives do you have in order to obtain what you want? Now that you know what you want and what’s keeping you from getting there, look for alternatives to tie those two worlds together. If you want to be the owner of your own time and spend more time with your family, analyze the possibility of starting a business in your free time.
  4. Follow your path. This is the most complicated part of the whole process. It consists of putting into motion those aforementioned alternatives. Many people prefer not to do it because they’re used to their comfort zone. In reality, nothing will happen if you don’t follow the process. But if you do, I can assure you that you’ll have incredible results.

The only permission you need

It turns out you do need someone’s permission to do what you wish. That is the most important person in your life and someone you should always keep in mind. If you don’t, this person’s voice will crush your mind telling you that something’s not right.

Have you guessed who that very important person is, whose permission you need? If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m talking about you.

That’s right, the only thing you need to take control of your life is to decide to do all of these things. Don’t wait for the road to be easy, it never will be.