How to Speak Confidently: The Power of Confidence in Yourself

Speaking with confidence, assertiveness, and charisma allows  you to conquer the social scene. Nevertheless, the key to getting to this point is working out a psychological muscle every day and little by little. What's this indispensable component? Self-confidence.
How to Speak Confidently: The Power of Confidence in Yourself
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 15 November, 2021

Many people ask themselves how they can speak confidently. How can you express your ideas with that perfect blend of assertiveness, seduction, and charisma? You’ve probably met people who seem to be good at this. However, it’s also true that the sheer amount of advice on the topic can make you feel overwhelmed. And that’s not to mention all the programs and strategies for improving your confidence when speaking. But what you really need is a very simple thing: confidence in yourself.

When you have doubts over your own efficacy, everything crumbles. Admit it – this happens more times than you’d like. We’re talking about those times when your mind gets full of negative ideas. For example, “I’m going to get nervous for sure and spoil everything”. Or are you familiar with “It’s going to be like last time, when I made a fool out of myself” What about “I probably won’t be able to show how much I’m worth because when I talk I’m awkward, unoriginal, and indirect”.

Without a doubt, these types of circumstances can limit many of your personal and work opportunities. Some men and women are great at their jobs. They’re brilliant minds who, oddly, have serious communication problems. T hey have trouble expressing themselves and conveying their ideas to others effectively.

In addition, most of us want more than just confidence in our speech. We’d also like to be more charismatic and charming. We’d like to have that special talent for captivating the people we want to reach.

A man anxious about communication, who can improve by learning to speak confidently.

There are strategies, as you’re probably well aware. Nevertheless, before talking about them or making them your own, it’s a good idea to find out why this problem arises. Why do some people have limited communication skills and a lack of confidence?

Why is it hard for me to speak firmly and confidently?

Many of us would like to know how to speak confidently. It could be very useful in your job or in your academic career. It’s also helpful for striking up new friendships, winning people over to your ideas, and just to be more persuasive in general. And let’s not forget about transmitting your ideas more effectively. And why not? It can also help improve your love life.

Getting good at communicating, after all, is a matter of improving your ability to get along with others. It also involves steadying your human potential. Nevertheless, it’s often hard to keep this skill strong. There are many reasons for this. Generally, you can sum them up in the following psychological realities:

Over-excitement of the autonomic nervous system

When it’s hard for you to communicate cohesively when you’re around one or more person, oftentimes it’s a matter of a lack of self-confidence. You also often find this combined with stress and anxiety.

You’re afraid of making a mistake or of other people seeing you as incompetent. And that fear feeds your anxiety. This type of anxiety is usually produced because your brain considers those situations threats.

Anxiety at being judged, at doing something badly, or looking like a fool activates your autonomic nervous system. That releases a whole chain of symptoms. You get nervous, your heart rate increases, and your mouth gets dry. Some people feel out of breath and might even start to sweat. All of this makes communication that much harder.

Limiting beliefs

Your mind can be a catalyst for your strengths or a steamroller of your self-esteem and potential. So when your thoughts turn into negative, judgmental ideas, they could come true. For example, if you think of yourself as awkward or expect to put your foot in your mouth, it could very well become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The situational factor

Another essential factor that you have to assess is the situation. Some environments, situations, and people exert an undue amount of pressure over you. That can make you lose confidence in yourself. They might cause you to doubt yourself or to lose confidence in yourself. They might even negatively impact your self-efficacy.

One example would be starting out a new job where your manager expects you to speak skillfully so you can attract new clients. That pressure might make you feel anxious. It might hurt your self-confidence a lot if you feel that you’re not particularly skillful in communicating. All of these factors can put you to the test.

Tips for speaking confidently

In order to talk confidently, you have to break away from your personal reality. Some simply need a little more experience. Specifically, they need to get used to it so they feel less stiff and more comfortable around people. Others, on the other hand, need to restructure a lot of their inner selves more broadly. They have to do things such as put out the fires of their insecurities or improve their self-esteem. These people could do with wiping away negative thoughts or managing their anxiety better as well.

All of this work takes a lot of time. It also demands a true commitment to changing yourself. Once you’re clear on these aspects and you accept the challenge of following through on them, it’s time to bring all these basic tips together so that you can start speaking confidently.

Strategies to help you speak confidently

Focus on the message you want to transmit. That’s the only thing that matters. Put all the other thoughts, fears, and anxieties away and just focus on what you want to say and who you want to say it to. Step outside of yourself and connect with the person in front of you. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a single person, many people, or a big crowd. Connection is power, and you might even come to enjoy linking up to others. If you feel comfortable, you convey comfort to others. When you feel afraid, you convey that fear.

If you want to speak confidently, you can’t rush through it. Do it slowly, with one idea coming after the other in peace and harmony. But don’t forget to emphasize what you’re saying and expressing. That way, others will feel compelled by your message.

Don’t beat around the bush. Also, make sure to avoid repetitions, filler words, and interjections. Likewise, appeal to peoples’ emotions, tell stories, and make it very personal. People are always captivated by the natural.

In conclusion, to speak confidently, you need to practice a lot and have good self-esteem. When you finally believe in yourself, you discover that your fears aren’t so big. You’ll also be able to control your insecurities more. You might even be able to allow yourself to enjoy those situations that you once found threatening.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.