Get Distance from Everything That Distances You from Yourself
Distance yourself from whatever may be hurting you, from whatever may put a damper on your life, from what may turn into something really bad. Distance yourself from everything that has no solution, from anything that is undermining your well being.
Impose an emotional distance on pain, rejection, and betrayal; observe them and learn. Manage your fears, control your demons. Be aware that suffering is optional. Do not put make-up on your reality; live it.
Hold close that which comforts you, which does not shoot to kill, which does not force you to lose. Give a new way of doings things a chance and take care of yourself. Do not break yourself into pieces and do not force yourself to lose an integral part of who you are.
The emotional traces of pain
We often let the hands of the clock run their course without interference of any sort, while they tear off the pages of our calendar without pain or glory. We disconnect from the world, isolate ourselves from reality, and let life pass by without thinking about the consequences.
But detaching the conscious part of our mind from the unconscious has its consequences. We are not saying that we have to be hyper-reflexive; we are talking about being aware that what causes us pain is precisely our intention of avoiding it.
Suffering cannot be separated from living, but we constantly insist on overcoming its limits and trying to ignore it. Sadness is not bad, and neither is worry or even anger.
Each of these brings us knowledge. Or rather, feeling suffering is necessary if we want to feel pleasure. For this reason we cannot play hide and seek with our emotions.
There will always be something that does us harm
It is impossible to build a life without toxic emotions or people who “make our life bitter.” Similarly, it is impossible to live without something that brings us pleasure or gratification. This is why we have to be fair in our thoughts and thank the “suffering” for everything that it brings us.
Said in a different way… Who has never thought that the knife that was put in their back did not help them to mature? Who has not become aware that if they are strong today, it is because they were weak yesterday?
For everything in life, there is a counterpart. We could not feel happiness if something had not made us sad at some point. However, even though we may understand this, it is always hard for us to accept it in practice.
Life hurts sometimes, it exhausts us sometimes, it stings sometimes. It is not perfect, it is not coherent, it is not easy, it is not eternal, but despite all of this, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.
So in the end, we are the ones who feed and create our own suffering. It’s a snowball effect. Something hurts us, we try to avoid it, we hurt ourselves more, we let this accumulate, we suffer because we could not get rid of the pain, and as a result, we end up with a huge snowball that started out as a little flake of frozen water.
That being said, with that snowball, we have the chance to make a pretty doll or to let it crush us. As we have seen, once again it is a matter of options, of paths, of forks in the road.
If we simplify every situation in our lives in this way, we will end up with a skeleton key that will open all of those strengths that let us move forward. Basically, it is a matter of giving yourself two options: to accept the path or to reject it and suffer for having tried to avoid it.
If we accept, we grow. If we reject, we will always life under the yoke of avoidance. If we resist accepting our suffering and pain as an inherent part of life, we will only manage to roll a large snowball of anguish.
If, on the other hand, we accept it as natural, we will free ourselves from that anguish, which will then allow us to grin and bear life without the heavy burden of that constant, intense game of hide and seek.
All in all, we cannot fight against ourselves, because if we do this, we will be both the winner and the loser. And dying to live does not pay off.