Embracing Acceptance and Change
In life, we’re often faced with situations we don’t know how to react to, and we can either embrace acceptance or stay in denial about what’s happening. But, which is the better choice?
The answer is to accept what’s happening around us. We need to learn to accept any situation in which life or our relationships surprise us. If we resist and deny it, it will only make those thoughts stronger.
“Nothing is permanent, except change”
Facing, not avoiding
To face a situation means to look for solutions. It means to live with the situation in the best way possible and to be happy with it.
When we talk about acceptance, we never even consider avoiding as an option. Evasion distances us from reality, making us head in the other direction, not facing or solving what’s in front of us. Besides, acceptance is the first step towards change.
Acceptance vs. resignation
To accept something is to find the perfect balance in order to be happy with the cards we’re dealt. It means to find the best formula in order to solve, improve, adapt, respect and see the bright side in a situation. It means to understand things the way they are.
Resignation, on the other hand, means to live with this bothersome situation, because we have no other choice or we’re afraid to push for change. We grudgingly deal with the sorrow as best we can, simply enduring life.
It’s best to always choose acceptance. Don’t confuse acceptance with resignation. Resigning to a situation means to passively withstand the suffering it brings, while accepting a situation means to take an active role in it. Part of acceptance is making decisions and this, in turn, leads to change.
Learning to accept, learning to change
Acceptance is always the first step to adapting the best way possible to a situation. It enables us to feel OK about ourselves and the situation at hand. We learn to handle it without suffering or being overwhelmed. We feel capable and like we’re equipped with the necessary tools, skills and respect for the other people involved.
Very often, thanks to the self-discovery that comes along with acceptance, the time will come to analyze your own life, lifestyle, interpersonal, romantic and work relationships, etc…and that’s when changes happen. Based on acceptance and filled with the satisfaction of having handled the situation well, that’s when it’s time to make changes in your personal life.
For example, when a romantic relationship hits a rough patch due to the incompatibility of the partners, the first step is to accept the other person for who they are. Thus ends all of the blame, lack of respect and attempts to make the other person change.
When we accept things as they are, we become aware of reality. We then gain further respect for the differences, facing them calmly. That’s why when you reach this point of acceptance, the next step in this learning process takes place, the decision to make a change.
When we accept the situation, we stop fighting against what’s happening in order to change it. Instead, we decide to make personal changes based on our lives and the life of our partner. On the other hand, when we avoid things, we don’t accept or face the situation. So, the problem continues, even if it’s hidden.
When we make this decision to change, it’s because once we accept the situation, we decide it’s not how we want to live. And since we can’t change the situation or the people involved, we’re the only ones who can change the way our lives are going.