As we evolve as people, we create mental structures that are consistent with our experiences and upbringing. Your environment and the people close to you may have substantially conditioned the way you see the world. Destructive thoughts are nothing other than a learned habit that, if you work at it consistently, you can break in order to feel better.
The people around you can only influence your thoughts if you let them. You are the owner of your thoughts, and only you have the key to open or close this door.
Remember that on top of your experiences and things that happen to you in life, you have your own way of thinking and feeling towards the world.
Destructive thoughts can appear at any moment
Nowadays, due to all the information that we have access to and the ease with which we can talk to many different people, it’s much easier to have a disorganized mind, up to the point that even the emotionally healthiest people can still have destructive thoughts.
Anybody who has destructive thoughts knows how bad they can make them feel, and even how they can distort reality. In this regard, it’s necessary to get to know these common destructive thoughts so you can learn to let them pass without paying any attention to them.
Life is not black and white, there are many different shades!
One of the most common, limiting destructive thoughts is the idea that there aren’t any different shades in life, that everything is either black or white. Fortunately, the truth is that life is full of nuances and colors that make it special and flexible.
Thinking that everything is black and white can augment conflicts with other people because the person who thinks that way is usually too inflexible to see all the possibilities of their actions and other people’s actions.
How can you improve this type of destructive thinking? In order to do so, you should reflect on this thought in particular, take a step back, and look at it from another perspective. Ask other people what they think and ask yourself if this thought is absolute truth or not…you’ll surely realize that there are many different ways of doing things.
Life is not perfect
“There’s always a problem with everything that happens.” This destructive thought is certainly pessimistic, because people who tend to have these thoughts find fault with everything. Nothing is perfect! But it’s very easy to be negative.
Fortunately, in our world, nothing is perfect, and we should learn and grow from these imperfections. It’s the beauty of reality that makes us grow as people.
How can you drive away this destructive thought? In life, even when there are problems, you can always find a solution and make yourself feel better. So if you’re one of those people who only finds problems with everything, bring this phrase to mind: “It’s okay, this too shall pass.”
“People who think they’re not capable of doing something will never do it, even though they have the skills.”
– Indira Gandhi –
Wanting what other people have
“I want that, too,” is a destructive thought that suggests envy towards other people. Feeling envious is a clear sign that the person who suffers from it feels insecure and frustrated.
Envy is a feeling that starts to eat away at the soul, embitters your view of life, and what’s worse, makes you feel like something inside of you is tearing apart over not being like someone else or having what they have.
How can you move away from this destructive thought? If you’re someone who’s used to feeling envy, first you should acknowledge that this isn’t good for your health. It’s too much negativity that will only make you feel worse, and could even make you sick.
Instead of comparing what you have right now with what other people have, simply think about how you were some time ago and how you’ve evolved up until today. Life is like a staircase, and there will always be somebody above you, as well as below.
Don’t be jealous of other people; it’s much better to be thankful for what you have. That way, you’ll overcome this feeling and you’ll realize how much you have in your life, and feel good about yourself and everything around you.
Images courtesy of Kelly Vivanco