Today Is the Day to Let Go of Envy

Today Is the Day to Let Go of Envy
Gema Sánchez Cuevas

Reviewed and approved by the psychologist Gema Sánchez Cuevas.

Last update: 21 December, 2022

Envy is an emotion that sometimes appears without us even being aware of it. What does it affect? It affects our  interpersonal relationships and makes it very difficult to connect with other people.

Admiring someone, or for example having the desire to be as successful as they are, is not the same as envy. Envy is to want what another person has, but not only that. An envious person also seeks to destroy the life of the other.

“Envy in men shows how unhappy they feel.” 

-Arthur Schopenhauer-

Have you ever felt pain or rage towards a friend who has achieved more than you have? If so, you know perfectly well what it means to be envious. Today is the day to let it go.

Envy is very destructive and we should learn to leave it behind in order to feel better about ourselves and our relationships with others.

Envy: Are they better than me? 

Here is a question that we should all ask ourselves: Why do we see those who have achieved what we have not as better than us?

We should be able to see that no one is the same as anyone else, and that the differences found in each person are what make us all unique. Nobody is better than you for having achieved something you also want to achieve. 

people on ladders envy

Being confident in oneself is the key to being able to accomplish all that we set out to do. Maybe a coworker has already attained a goal you have set for yourself, but your path is most likely very different from theirs.

Trust in the endless possibilities before you. Never stop trying to accomplish what you want. But, proceed with caution! Do not base your goals on what others have achieved simply because they have achieved it; your own goals should not be based out of envy.  

“Envy is a declaration of inferiority.”

-Marlene Dietrich-

You have your own abilities and skills to be able to get where you want to go. You should learn to take advantage of all that you do differently from others. Most likely, you have certain abilities that other people, even the people you feel envious of, do not have. So, why do you envy them? Why do you want to be like everyone else?

Judging others, and involving yourself in their lives will not help you to reach your goals. Focus on yourself. Trust in your abilities and always try your hardest to reach your dreams. There are so many resources within your reach, you only need to employ the right strategy for you.

Think about the fact that no one deserves your attention as much as you do. In order to get what you want, you should look inward at yourself, and not outward at what everyone else is doing for themselves to get where they want to be.

If you must compete, compete with yourself

We are used to competition. It is a factor that increases the likelihood of the presence of envy. Achieving something before anyone else does causes us to look towards that person and try to imitate the strategy they used.

However, doing what that person did does not guarantee success. Furthermore, will stepping on other people to get what you want really make you happy? Probably not. You will feel alone in your achievement if, on the way up, you have trampled on the relationships you had built. All of that, simply for the desire to be better.

You are different and you know your limits. Improve yourself within your capabilities without looking at the people around you.

man looking in mirror envy

That being said, the best attitude to adopt is to compete against yourself. What are you capable of doing to reach your goal? Step all over anyone in your way? That is not the right attitude; it will not help you reap the rewards you are seeking. Consider, in this case, will you feel accomplished?

Think about what you truly want and concentrate on yourself. Others will have their own dreams, but you will have your own, too. Don’t allow yourself to be dragged down by goals that are not your own.

This does not mean you should never “imitate” certain attitudes of those who you admire. For example, if you want to reach an objective, instead of thinking on how to take down someone you see as your strongest competition, why don’t you take a look at what exactly that other person is doing?

Thinking about that will help you to resist falling back on the easy solution, and taking the path that will not lead you to your true goal. Invest all of your energy in surpassing yourself every day. This is the only way in which you will be able to reach every goal you set for yourself. 

Admire, but do not envy.  Learn, but do not destroy. 

Utilize your resources, learn from your mistakes, and follow your own, unique path straight to your dreams. Follow the footsteps of those who have already attained what you aim to, but never forget that your path can never be the same. Each and every person is unique and different. You must find your own way to achieve your own dreams.

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.