The Best Ideology: Love and Friendship
Here is what some may consider to be a bold request: don’t argue with people who only put importance on your ideology. Don’t believe that someone is more distant from you just because you don’t share a belief about a certain topic.
Don’t get tangled up in never-ending discussions with people who are only concerned with demonstrating that their opinion is the right one, or that their thoughts on a subject are more important. Don’t build a wall of distrust towards people who have not seen your soul just for believing that their ideas may threaten yours.
Don’t destroy a true friendship that has caused no damage in your life just because that person has different ideas about life itself. It is not worth it. While you waste your breath protesting and becoming filled with resentment, you miss the fact that those who create those divisions actually offer new opportunity with a smile.
The best ideology and way of understanding the world is one based on love and affection that you give to the people who pass through your life.
Maybe you have visions of the world that seem opposing and at odds with one another. However, if you love and respect others, and if you enjoy the company of those who brighten up your life, consider if in reality it is worth it to destroy that for an invisible hole that puts distance between you and those people.
The best ideology in life is based on the actions you carry out, and what those actions say about you
There is a very common mistake that almost everyone makes when it comes to communication. This mistake is actually thinking and believing that all of the words you hear are true and spoken honestly from the heart of the person speaking. It is easy to forget that, in reality, they are all just words that pass through their lips, and don’t necessarily come from their heart.
Sometimes even you yourself will say something without thinking, or give an opinion of ignorance of simply because you believe that you must give an opinion on everything in order to define yourself. It is common to believe that by doing this, we will be seen in a better light by those around us.
You may also sometimes confuse simple words and gestures with a declaration of intentions, or with the intention to be hurtful. Maybe you personalize everything you hear, and end up incorporating the opinions of others into your own life experience.
Talking and sharing a variety of subjects with friends is necessary. It is good to nourish your intellect with the opinions of others. This sharing can also be therapeutic, help to get rid of your stress, and allows you to see the truth from different perspectives.
“He who knows the power of words pays a lot of attention to conversation. Watch the reactions caused by his words. He knows that they ‘will not return to the same point without having caused their effect'”.
–Florence Scovel Shinn-
Having a real conversation is an art that should not turn into a fight, especially not if that person is someone you love and appreciate. If miscommunications do happen, they can always be sorted out with the right tone of voice. They can be resolved through listening and by never imposing your personal ideas on others.
Sometimes the line that separates simple conversation and an actual argument can be crossed. Each time this happens with someone you love, your relationship with that person may become more and more distant. In reality, you should always keep in mind the idea that words are blown away with the wind. Only actions and real events show intentions and the real life values a person holds.
You may also find yourself in a situation in which you are attacking someone you love for something they have said, but in reality they have demonstrated over and over again the exact opposite with their behavior and actions. From your point of view, it may feel like this person is failing you because of what they are saying, but they have never failed you by their actions.
Maybe that person also feels disappointed by your words, and maybe you have hurt them with your words. This can be a troubling and stressful situation, especially when neither you or that person you love have always helped each other, and never actually hurt each other.
The best ideology and the greatest truth is the love of the people you love
Although anyone can be seduced by an idea or by the thoughts of others, none of these things can offer true love and comfort that the sincere words of understanding can spoken by someone that truly loves you.
“Sometimes being a friend means being masters of the art of time. There are moments for silence. There are moments for letting go, and for letting others do what they want with their lives. And there is a moment for rising to pick up the pieces when everything is over.”
-Gloria Naylor-
There is no idea that you can call at any hour of the day or night because you are sad. No ideology can talk to you to help you calm down. No ideology can try to understand what you want to say through your choked up voice and tears.
No ideology can take the place of a real and warm embrace of your mother when you get home after being away for a long time. No ideology or school of thought can replace a kiss and the comforting gaze of the person you love.
So, before losing someone you love in the name of an ideology, think about what, in reality, is what makes you strong, blessed, and happy… before it’s too late.
