Ask for What You Deserve...What You Need Will Follow

Ask for What You Deserve...What You Need Will Follow
Valeria Sabater

Written and verified by the psychologist Valeria Sabater.

Last update: 28 July, 2022

Attain what you deserve and what you need will follow. Have you ever thought about this simple equation? There’s nothing magical about it. It really is a simple self-discovery able to guide us in each one of our steps, in order to achieve our goals. That which we truly need.

Think about your day to day. It’s full of pressure, obligations and goals to achieve. You cling to these realities with such force that you forget to take care of something essential. Yourself. Of what you deserve, what you need.

Now, we know all of these principles are difficult to attain. In our day to day lives, we’re too close and attached to things and people. You know you need more acknowledgement from your partner or family but… How do you achieve it if they don’t take the first step?

In reality, change must always start with us. People don’t change. Therefore, it’s you who needs to achieve and obtain what you deserve from within your possibilities. Because any movement, change in attitude, as small as it may be, it can generate great things.

You don’t wait for destiny, you create it

tree in the desert

You are the architect of your own life. While you move forward and create it, the journey itself will bring you obstacles to overcome and from which you can learn things. Now, if you’re not sure about what you deserve, it’s likely that you’ll get lost.

Some people aren’t very sure about what they deserve. They let time go by and life strings together their achievements, and also their tragedies. If you’re not sure that you deserve dignity, liberty and the right to your own personal growth, it’s likely that third parties will violate those principles without asking for your permission.

You shouldn’t allow it. If there’s one necessity that you should cultivate every day, it’s the need to be very clear about what you truly deserve. And don’t get me wrong, allowing yourself to have what you need and deserve is not selfish. It simply means to take care, respect and look out for yourself and your self-esteem.

Listen to your inner voice

When was the last time you talked to yourself? Do you think that it’s a useless conversation? The truth is that though it’s hard to believe, but it’s actually very hard to achieve an authentic inner dialogue.

  • The mind tends to be filled with “noise”. Limiting thoughts, worries, remembering the mistakes made throughout the day, the words said or not said; they all leave very little space for our inner voice.
  • Dedicate one or two hours a day to yourself. It should be your own personal and private space. Relax and start off by asking yourself how you feel. Then, ask yourself another question: what do you need?
  • Lastly, face another issue: do you think you’re being yourself every day of your life? On occasion, we put first the needs of others. That way we slowly get left behind and become “a shadow of ourselves.” Be careful. 
    girl reading

To get what you need, first you need to allow yourself what you deserve

It’s that simple. To meet a need, you first need to be able to open a door. No one is going to quench your thirst if you don’t look for a source of water or go outside and wait for the rain.

We arrive in the world with nothing, and we leave the same way. Let all of that journey called life flow with integrity and happiness, knowing always what you deserve, what your vital essence needs.

As you can see, it’s our own inner strength, determination and willpower that should be very clear on where our limits are and what’s the path to follow. If someone underestimates you, uses irony to attack you or prioritizes themselves every day, leaving you in the background, they are crossing the limit of what you should allow. You don’t deserve that.

Always keep these simple principles in mind:

  • Your thoughts are what determine what surrounds you: It’s not what’s happening, it’s what you think about it.
  • Think in a more free way, more open. Avoid fears, denials and indecision. Widen your perspectives. Get out of your everyday comfort zone.
  • Do you think you deserve to be independent? To have your own place in the world? Set a purpose for everyday and go above and beyond your goals. In the end, what you need will arrive: your own acknowledgement and personal satisfaction.
  • Do you deserve someone who truly loves you? Start off by being the person you want to be. When you feel proud of yourself, you’ll attract the person your heart truly needs.
  • Do you deserve to be happy? Then break the barriers. Get away from the people who hurt you. Live new experiences and every day you’ll be closer to what you need: true well-being, personal fulfillment. 
    woman hugging star


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.