5 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

September 8, 2016

Being mentally strong is a fundamental life skill that is of vital importance when it comes to parenting. Being mentally strong parents involves knowing how to regulate emotions, properly manage thoughts and behave productively, even, and especially, when it seems that your kids want to make you go crazy.

With regard to building mental strength, there are common bad habits that can stand in our way of reaching our full potential. Identifying and avoiding these errors can make a big difference.

What mentally strong parents do not do

father and son on a hill at dusk

Parents who demonstrate mental strength establish good habits and avoid the following mistakes:

They do not feel sorry for themselves

Mentally strong parents do not fall into the trap of thinking that their children are trying to punish or hurt them, or that they are unfair to them. Mentally strong parents know that feeling sorry for themselves will only delay the solution to a real problem.

Children and teenagers are who they are, and is in their nature to seek a way to master the situation. It is part of their development. The solution is not to complain and play the victim, but rather to establish rules of effective discipline and carry them out efficiently.

In this regard, mentally strong parents are proactive in solving problems and do not waste time in lamenting that they deserve better.

They do not avoid their responsibility

It is very easy to blame problems and discomfort on a child because they upset you, misbehave, or because their attitude makes you crazy. Instead of blaming their children, mentally strong parents retain their personal power and accept responsibility for their emotions and behavior.

Mentally strong parents recognize that each time they engage in a power struggle or lose their temper as parents, they are giving their children more power. Thus, they keep themselves in a place of control by controlling their emotions.

They do not ignore changes

As children grow and develop they will change in attitudes and behavior, and their relationship with their parents will also change. But many parents do not accept these changes, especially when they realize that their children are unable or unwilling to be the way they want them to be.

Mentally strong parents are able to accept these changes. They understand them as an evolution and are willing to adjust their strategies and their way of relating according to the needs of their children. They recognize the individual freedom they deserve.

They do not try to control their children

Controlling children is a difficult and useless task because the more we oppress them, the more they feel the need to explode. Instead of controlling their children, mentally strong parents try to influence them, not manipulate them. To do this, they help them develop abilities and give them the tools necessary to succeed in all facets of life.

parents with children according to values-maría-montessori

In this sense, mentally strong parents are aware that an upbringing is not based on the imposition of criteria and strict adherence to a rules. Rather it is in the development of strong self-esteem and learning skills such as managing emotions and decision-making, among others.

They do not worry about pleasing others

Mentally strong parents do not care about what people say or about satisfying the expectations of others. Mentally strong parents do not yield to pressure from other parents or other adults who do not understand their way of proceeding.

On the contrary, mentally strong parents have clear objectives, strategies and rules of their house, as well as the way they want to raise their children, and teach them to respect the decisions of others.

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Images courtesy of Pascal Campion