5 Keys to Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

· October 4, 2016

Love is a feeling, but it requires work. Love requires action, intention and an open heart for a relationship to survive. It is not enough to feel, but rather you have to live that love, and not take it for granted.

For a long time we have heard the metaphor that love is like a flowerit must be watered to keep it alive and for it to grow. It is a cliché, but it is useful to explain something important. If you water a plant a lot you’ll drown it, if you water it improperly you can damage it.

If you do not care about watering yourself, what makes you think you are going to water another person? You cannot love someone else without loving yourself first. You cannot expect from others anything you do not give yourself first.

Respect your partner and encourage his or her goals

This is the first key to maintaining a healthy relationship, respecting others and declaring it. We all like to know that we are necessary and useful. We want to know our partner understands what we do and that they validate and respect our decisions.

If a couple does not respect each other, if they do not reaffirm their beliefs and values, the complicity and hope is lost. Sometimes it is not easy to avoid outside influences, assessments of those from the outside who see everything from a different point of view.

If you want your partner to respect you and accept your decisions, respect your partner and respect yourself.

couple-turned-around-forming-a-heart-with-their-hands

Understanding, recognizing and supporting your partner’s needs and life goals is another way to show your respect and make the other person feel loved. To do so, ask them frequently about their goals, their progress, their fears.


Turn their dream into yours and participate in their achievements. This does not mean you do not have your own goals. In fact, your partner should do the same for you to create a path where you can go forward together by supporting one another.

Prioritize intimacy

Physical affection is essential in a relationship. Physical intimacy is a form of expression, a sign of complicity, a way to give and get security.

Intimacy strengthens a couple’s bonds, but also helps maintain a healthy self-esteem. It’s not just about sexuality, but also other manifestations of love and passion, like kissing, hugging, caressing and sensual words…

We cannot forget the importance of emotional intimacy. Sex can be had with anyone. Only if there is emotional intimacy can physical intimacy be a point of support to maintain a healthy relationship.

couple-kissing-under-the-rain

Share a life in a balanced way

Sharing life with others is the basis of a relationship. But only if everyone keeps their own personal space of independence is it possible for a relationship to be healthy. Each one has their individual needs and can evolve in different ways.

Keeping personal and private space, opening up to explore new possibilities freely or changing certain habits is something that is part of your freedom, and it is good that you respect that of the other person. Moreover, encourage your partner to do it, to not be dependent on you so that they do not want to make you dependent either.

Having your own space and independence does not mean ignoring the other, it helps one recharge energy that will later turn very positive in the relationship.

Communicate instead of complaining

One of the side effects of relationships is the way we express our disagreements: with complaints and being rude. We make the popular saying, “familiarity breeds contempt,” into our own. But this never ends well. This attitude makes a mark and opens a gap that deepens and hurts.

couple-talking-holing-hands-drinking-coffee

To maintain a healthy relationship you must communicate, talk things through, make constructive criticisms without irony or sarcasm, and show respect and desire to reach a solution. Adding fuel to the fire might be rewarding at first, but in the end it is the fire that wins by getting bigger and leaving only ashes after being extinguished.

Accept your partner

Trying to change someone is a losing game. If you love someone you must accept them how they are, for who they are now, and not wait for them to become something else just because they have fallen in love with you. The security we all seek in a relationship comes precisely from the knowledge that the other loves me as I am, accepts my shortcomings and is aware of my limitations.

Knowing that someone loves you the way you are makes you feel capable of bringing out the best of yourself. Therefore it is very important to know your partner well and to be known by showing who you truly are.

Do not try to force the other person to continue along your path or to evolve with you. Let them decide freely. If you think they can improve, do not force them. Inspire them with your attitude and your way of doing things without disrespecting them, without invading their personal space, and without letting them invade yours.

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