Intimacy: The Foundation Of Strong Relationships

December 18, 2015
Intimacy is crucial to a couple. If we go beyond its sexual connotations, we notice that it also implies things like trust, complicity, or simply the fact of knowing what the other person wants.

We’re taking this opportunity to focus on the sexual aspect; what happens under the sheets and behind closed doors (or in whatever area of the house your heart desires, there’s not a specific time or place for passion, you know.) If you want to better handle intimacy with your partner, maybe this is a good time to put in a little effort to get there.

Remember as a first condition, both of you must be in agreement with the changes needed to improve the relationship. If at any point one of you don’t feel passion, are too tired, or prefer to do something else, maybe it’s time to wait until both of you are better in tune.

Intimacy during sex implies several things, ranging from pleasure, to awareness of the other person’s sensations, to how we’re feeling at that exact moment. This has nothing do with what pleases women or men the most, but instead finding the midpoint at which both people feel great.

To improve the intimacy of a couple, of the one of the indisputable steps is to pay attention to what you’re feeling, and at the same time, pay attention to what the other person is going through. Do you think that’s impossible? Of course not!

Improving the intimacy of a relationship

The fact of the matter is that making love and having sex are two different things, and it’s good to alternate between passion and romance. This can do a couple a lot of good and improve their intimate experience.

Eye contact while having sex is important in heightening the level of complicity and also in knowing what the other person is feeling and thinking. If you tend to close your eyes to feel more pleasure, you’re missing something vital: watching your partner. It’s not about doing it all the time; it’s about finding balance.

Remember that sex is the perfect way to connect with the person we’ve chosen. You may think the that most important sensation during the act is touch, but there are others that make just as much impact, such as sight, hearing, smell, and even taste in determinate moments, which can give us a bonus of arousal and pleasure that we have never experienced.

Having said that, intimacy isn’t just about where we have sex, but also about where we talk about it. If we talk about other things with our partner, why not talk about sex?

Not too many people can read minds, and there are things that, if they aren’t put into words, will never be communicated. By doing this, we actually come to realize that our partner is more than happy to please us; what’s more is that they want to, but we aren’t capable of creating that level of intimacy to communicate the things we need and want.

Isn’t it a shame?

On the other hand, there are some people who find looking intimacy in the eye more embarrassing than taking off their clothes, as if only then to they really feel exposed and fragile. A level of fragility, that for whatever reason, causes them fear.

Getting over that sensation can bring marvelous communication to place that you make a reality, and as an extension of your partner, can fill you more deeply than you thought. Many times, we are the ones who unknowingly put chains around our own pleasure.

As long as we’re on the subject of fears and insecurity, one of the ways that you can increase your intimacy as a couple is to let the other person really “see you.” Especially those women who have the most complexes about their bodies, and don’t want to leave the light on or be in certain positions where they feel more vulnerable.

In that area, as well as in other aspects of the relationship, growth is necessary for this to fully develop, and in the sexual realm it shouldn’t be any different. This growth develops intimacy, which simoultaneously develops trust.

A trust that, just like a good dinner, needs time to really develop and it’s something we sometimes don’t always allow in our busy schedules. It’s an investment that we so often neglect or expect to occur naturally, when in fact it’s impossible for it to happen as long as it’s at the bottom of our list of priorities.

In fact, there’s nothing wrong with having specifically planned, intimate moments. This should be done when you’re both aware of that fact that, temporarily, you aren’t making time for it to occur spontaneously.

The best part is that it will have amazing repercussions on your day to day life, because as previously stated, intimacy for a couple isn’t just about sexual and physical contact, but it’s about knowing each other, knowing what the other person wants, pleasing them, letting them please you, and looking for (and finding) what both of you like and crave.

“They slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered.”

― F. Scott Fitzgerald