The 4 most Common Self-Esteem Issues
Our experiences form and develop our self-esteem, whether positively or negatively. The value we assign to ourselves and features that make us up affects our health and happiness. Hence, the importance of addressing problems with self-esteem.
Self-esteem is absolutely fundamental to our ability to function in life. It’s the engine that pushes us to feel good or bad. That’s why self-care is so important.
But sometimes experiences, perceptions, comparisons or messages we’re given play tricks on us and influence how we see ourselves. Let’s look at what the 4 most common problems with self-esteem issues are and how to handle them.
Feeling that you’re not worth anything, that you’re not capable, or simply having a negative self-image are warning signs of problems with self-esteem.
The 4 most common problems with self-esteem
Having a negative self-image
Our eyes are our mirror for the world. A realistic view of ourselves must take into account both the positive (virtues) and the negative (defects).
If we put on “dark glasses” we won’t let the light in and we’ll only focus on our faults. But if we’re able to change our glasses, our self perception and value will change.
How are we going to see the good side of life if we’re not able to see the good in ourselves?
When gray and black paint our lives, we may have to explore other colors, other alternatives …
Not being sure of our actions and thoughts
They say that questioning things is wise, but when we question our ideas or actions continuously, insecurity can trap us. If we get used to distrusting our abilities and actions, we’ll see ourselves as not valuable. As a consequence, we will have low self-esteem.
Loving ourselves means trusting in ourselves. Believing firmly in our values and principles and being willing to defend them. It also implies setting things right when we mess up.
Waiting for others to approve what we want to do and even what we are thinking is not the right way. Often, they don’t know what we want or they have different priorities.
Why not take the risk and start being ourselves? That way, we’ll stop being vulnerable to others and begin to live authentically.
Being unable to accept ourselves
One of the biggest self-esteem issues is a lack of self-acceptance. When we don’t give ourselves the chance to appreciate our good qualities while also accepting our mistakes and feelings, we’re not accepting ourselves as we are.
If we fail to make the different parts of us fit together, our self-esteem will run out and break into pieces. Our growth will be limited, as well as our relationships.
What’s wrong with discovering yourself? Accepting yourself implies the possibility of continuing to grow. And it also opens the doors to transformation and change. As Carl Jung said, “What you deny or refuse subdues you. What you accept transforms you. ”
Nagging negative feelings
We all at some point have negative or unresolved feelings, even if we’re not fully aware of them. Negative feelings usually indicate problems of self-esteem and may be expressed in many ways:
- A generalized inability to enjoy life
- Inability to see the positive side of things
- Hating yourself
- Sudden or exaggerated mood swings
- Neurotic guilt
- Hypersensitivity and/or hyperactivity
- Chronic indecision
Thus, the image we create of ourselves based on how we feel is also important to review. Because if we feel bad our self-image will be much more negative than if we experience positive feelings.
For example, shame can immobilize us, anger can tense us up, and sadness can lead to total carelessness and discomfort.
Checking ourselves from time to time will give us clues about how we value ourselves and will help us manage how we feel.
Self-esteem is our skeleton
Self-esteem issues can lead to feelings of defeat and failure if we ignore them. Working on our emotional intelligence will help us value ourselves more.
Values, customs, judgments and acceptance are some factors that influence our way of being and acting. In addition, what we believe and perceive about what others think of us determines a lot too. Creating awareness so that our self-esteem is working properly will facilitate our ability to achieve our dreams and above all, achieve wellness. Let’s not forget that loving yourself is the beginning of everything else.
“Happiness is not what we have, it is what we are. So let’s not confuse ourselves, we are not human havers, we are human beings”.