What to Do When You're Having a Hard Time Trusting People

What to Do When You're Having a Hard Time Trusting People

Last update: 11 January, 2017

Being able to trust others is a very important part of life. And not only trusting others, but also in oneself. But for some people, trusting others is a true challenge, especially when it comes new people.

A crisis of confidence arises, and consequently so does a fear of trusting others. Which means that, at the same time, there’s also an issue of self-confidence.

Learning to trust people again

First of all, recognize the need to trust again. Some people fool themselves into believing they don’t need to have close relationships in their life, and that’s the furthest thing from the truth. Humans need each other, and they need to socialize. Otherwise, life would be incredibly empty.

Immerse yourself in environments where the people seem to trust each other, and where there is always someone you can trust. All you have to do is find the right person.

You must understand that one person doesn’t have to meet all your needs. What matters is that all of your needs are met, and you can achieve this by trusting different people with different needs.

Find trustworthy people who treat their peers well. If the person is fond of telling the intimate details of the lives of others, they are likely to betray your trust, as well. But if they don’t speak ill of others, it’s unlikely that they’ll badmouth you.

Find the right people, and build the trust slowly. Share small, personal details, and then wait to see what happens. If they share them with others, don’t trust them. But if the person proves to be faithful over small things, you can feel confident about trusting them.

Learn to trust yourself. So often, fear of trusting another person is due to fear of oneself, and fear of not being able to handle a betrayal.

Be patient. After being betrayed, it can be a challenge, but you must to learn to trust again. Give yourself the time and space you need.

How to trust yourself

  • Do activities you truly enjoy.
  • Think of your mistakes as gifts – valuable learning experiences and lessons you mustn’t forget. They’ll really come in handy when you have to face similar situations.
  • Learn from your mistakes. Work constructively through your misconducts and come to an understanding about why you acted the way you did.
  • Put self-forgiveness into practice, as many times as necessary in order to shelve your mistakes. “I forgive myself for …”
  • Celebrate your accomplishments, don’t blame your past and remember the great things you have done. You could even write them in a diary, where they could be solidified.
  • Follow your intuition, although this can be difficult if you have been taught to rationalize every decision.
  • Try new things. It’s not necessary to take risks to show that you trust yourself, but you can do activities that teach you things about yourself.

Image courtesy of Mathieu Bertrand Struck

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.