If You're Going to Love Me, Love Me Well

I don’t want to “see what happens…”, I don’t want fear to get in my way, I don’t want half-baked love or half-made decisions or better halves. I don’t want words or irrational doubts. If you are going to love me, love me well. If you want to, give me air. A simple gift of something ordinary is beautiful. Don’t sell me smoke. Any price you try to put on it will be too high.

Love me completely. Love me not because you need something, but because being with me is like the icing on the cake for your already complete life. Love me well, deeply and with sincerity. Love me not out of necessity, but out of the possibility of choosing freedom because I will never limit you. Love me well.

Love me well

That is love. It’s not about waiting to see what happens. It’s about throwing yourself into the experience, about making bold decisions. It’s about betting after the choice is made, and taking the risk. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. In love, one thing is certain: if you don’t bet, you’ll always lose. 

If you want to love me, I’ll tell you now that it’s not all going to be sunny days and butterflies in your stomach. Maybe you already know, but there will be more than smiles and walking hand-in-hand. There will be moments when we have to grab each other tightly and hold on. There will be moments when we have to give each other space to think and times when we need each other’s support.

We will need to hold each other up sometimes and even though I know I won’t always deserve it, I will appreciate when you are there to take care of me. In fact, when I least deserve it is when I will appreciate it the most. I will need you to pick me up and encourage me to keep going. If you agree, I will sign the contract right now so that this arrangement is reciprocal. Whenever you need me, I will be there. If you love me well, you won’t regret it.

If we make this decision, we accept all the consequences

If you’ve decided to love me, let’s throw ourselves into this with all of our expectations and dreams. We will deal with disappointments when we come to them. Let’s discover what kind of new adventures await and buy plenty of ink so we can write our story, the kind that never gets boring. We will write about our fears as well, and we will write of what we overcome.

If you are going to love me, I ask that you love me. Don’t just say that you love me, but show me. I don’t want meaningless words without actions to back them up. Those words don’t last. I want to feel that I am loved every day, I want to feel that I have someone at my side who I can trust. I want to feel that we have the same purpose. I want to feel that even when you aren’t physically here, you are still with me. 

If you are going to love me, I am going to love you

After and before asking for something, I have to give something. If you are going to love me I promise to offer love in return. I promise to be with you and to be there for you. I promise not to invade your space but to be close. I promise to make life exciting so you don’t get bored and give you peace when you need tranquility. I promise to give you air when you need to breathe.

I commit to filling you up when you’re missing something and leave when you are full. I will work every day to keep the the magic alive. I will make peace instead of trying to be right. I will know how to communicate logically and not impulsively. I will be your safe hug and your calm smile.

This contract needs a signature from both of us. Mine is on the last line. If you agree, we can write the clauses together. The first page is full of promises, the second is full of requests. I propose that we write the third page together.

If you are going to love me it is because I have shown that I can do this and you want to do this too. If you are going to love me, our strong connection will make it an amazing ride. If you are going to love me, I will do what I need to do to make you want to love me. If we are going to love each other, let’s start writing. Together.