At My Worst Times, I Was Alone
At my worst times, I was alone. I felt like the whole world had turned its back on me, or at least that the people who were around me had. In good times, it is really easy to find companionship, but nobody loves to be around you during the bad times. To round off my sorrows, I received criticism , putdowns, and a coldness that froze my body. I felt sad, very sad.
“I feel alone when I look for a hand and only find fists.”
-Tom Wolfe-
I stopped believing in human beings. I hid, like a small snail that hides in its shell, waiting for the sun to come out, but it never does. I did not want to talk to anybody, I did not want to pick up the phone, every conversation ended up being just as empty and heartless.
Despite all this, I made an effort to learn to see things differently. I started putting aside all those people, all those big meetings that were making me feel even more sad and alone. Because there is nothing more heartbreaking than being in what others consider to be a paradise and that for you is more barren than a desert.
Then I started broadening my horizons. I leaned on the people who, with their small gestures, made me feel good: a kind word, a hug, a clear, honest look. It was then that I started to see things in another way. Maybe the snail was starting to see the sun’s rays from within its tiny shell.
Maybe the reality of the matter is that we are all alone in life and so we must welcome this in a realistic way. Nobody can come to our defense all the time. Each one of us has their own problems and obligations, but any small gesture can help enormously during a bad time we are going through.
Fortunately, you will always find people who have the special ability to console you. When you least expect it, they show up like that much-needed breath of fresh air to make you fly high with just a few small words. And it is so simple that we should never forget these small gestures towards others. Gestures that make us grow as people.
Because the saddest thing that can happen to us is losing our humanity, something so easy to forget in a society in which the ruling values are not kindness, altruism, or respect. A society in which “I’m more important,” “Me, Me, Me,” or “I can’t give you a smile, I’m busy with something else” rule.
The coldness, the lack of humanity do not get us anywhere, and maybe because in the saying “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” there is a great lesson that we so often do not remember.
This is why we should all look at each other once in a while and think “We all need everyone,” why don’t I start with myself, offering well-meant words and not daggers that cut straight to the soul and heart? Why don’t we each play our small role and build something big?
“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we’re not alone”
-Orson Welles-
(Dedicated to all those people who can identify with these words during those hard times. Dedicated to all those people who have stopped believing in the world that they live in. Dedicated to all those people who find themselves invaded by despair in a world that tends to dehumanize.)