The Truth Hurts Once, But A Lie Hurts Forever

· April 10, 2016

The truth hurts once, but a lie hurts each time that you remember it; above all else because it traps you, it holds your emotions hostage, makes you question countless truths, and turns everything you have felt and experienced up to this point into something artificial.

In fact, when we are lied to, we can end up feeling separated from reality, as the shock of a false or incoherent experience ends up disorienting us to the point that we feel driven mad by ourselves and our reality.

Because those lies that are told in order to avoid pain end up hurting. And they hurt much more than any other feeling, thought, or emotion caused by whatever they were trying to hide or soften.

Woman with Birds on Head

A relationship founded on a lie is headed for failure

We must know that those relationships that are not built on the cement of sincerity will be like a fragile, wobbly house of cards that can destroy everything when it collapses.

Because lies give rise to many types of deceit that make us question our feelings. And what’s more, in order to lie, it is not necessary to tell lies; it is enough to act falsely and be a loyal follower of hypocrisy.

Those who lie have to convince themselves it’s OK to weave a false belief and authorize their mind to carry it out.

Woman with Crow

They must tell us the truth and we must decide if it hurts us or not

The emotional pain created by lies is profound and immense. We suffer and cry due to situations that could have been avoided.


However much a truth may hurt, at least it offers us the opportunity to strengthen our ability to make decisions, to analyze things, and to determine our emotional and cognitive identity. At least we have the choice to blaze other trails to escape that tunnel, and learn more about the world that surrounds us and the best way to open paths for ourselves when faced with it.

Deceit is often a means of trying to protect oneself from the dangers of the truth. Yet this creates even more sorrow, for those lies that are told to avoid pain are the most painful, the ones that are perceived as the most twisted, and which devastate all positive things in their path.

Woman's Face and Crows

Learn to protect yourself from lies

We have to put the things we say and hear through a filter, turn a deaf ear to the things that we hear, and think in a critical way. Let us not forget that people often sells us a car, knowing perfectly well that the motor is broken.

To know a little more about the criteria that we must follow when it is time to evaluate what we are hearing as well as what we are saying, we will provide you with a Socratic lesson about the filters that our conversations must go through.

A wise philosopher’s young disciple arrives home and says to him, “Master, a friend was speaking ill of you…”

“Wait!” the philosopher interrupts him. “Did you apply the three filters to what you are about to tell me?”

“The three filters?” his disciple asked.

“Yes. The first is the truth. Are you sure that what you want to tell me is absolutely true?”

“No. I heard some neighbors discussing it.”

“You must have at least put it through the second filter, which is kindness. What you want to tell me, is it good for somebody?”

“No, not really. On the contrary…”

“Oh, wow! The last filter is necessity. Do you need to inform me about what is bothering you so much?”

“To be honest, no.”

“Then,” said the wise man, smiling, “if it is not true, good, or necessary, then let’s brush it under the rug and forget about it.”

girl smiling with butterflies

In any case, nobody is more likely to believe a lie than those whose desires the lie fits with. Therefore, in order to receive the truth, we must be able to contain it, and for that, we doubtlessly need a good recipient.

In the same way, when someone tells a lie, he must know that he has to have enough intelligence to keep it up or, to the contrary, tell the truth.

The victims of lies, once they have gotten over this, end up being people with a great ability for deciphering and identifying lies. This will help us to grow and strengthen necessary skills for our daily lives, thereby managing to make both our emotions and our reasoning much more intelligent.