Tell Me the Truth, I'll See Whether It Hurts or Not

Tell Me the Truth, I'll See Whether It Hurts or Not
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 14 December, 2021

Nobody likes to be lied to. It doesn’t do me any favors to tell me a white lie, or to decide for me what I should know or not. If the truth hurts, it’s me who has to consider that.

People have the bad habit of hiding the things that they do, say, or think, because they think that will avoid harmBut no, in reality there’s nothing as piercing as lies, hiding things, hypocrisy. These things make us feel small and vulnerable while also creating distrust and insecurity.

There’s nothing that breaks me more inside and makes my stomachs turn like deciding for me, betraying my trust, or assuming I am incapable of tolerating or experiencing certain things.

flying with a leaf

No feeling is invalid

Throughout our lives we suffer and cry over hundreds of situations that other people cause. However, none of these feelings and emotions are in vain; on the contrary, most of the things we’ve learned, we’ve learned because of hurt and pain.

Also, suffering helps us to understand and know ourselves better, and understand that nothing bad lasts forever. In this way we can manage our emotions, or in other words, leave the tunnel.

Our life is ours, we live it how we want and not the way other people want us to. Would we decide for someone who they should love and how? No, that’s crazy. It’s been tried, yes, but always unsuccessfully, because it’s unjust to try to decide that for someone.

yoga by the mountains

The power of saying things to my face

Saying something to my face is being honest, nothing more and nothing less. People confuse this with a lack of manners, tact, or discretion. Honesty is a term that leads to confusion and everyone has their own version of the truth, so we see that there’s more to it than simply telling the truth.

Honesty is not saying everything that comes to mind, or saying it brusquely, or saying it at any time. At the same time, being honest judiciously, empathetically, and ethically does not mean sugarcoating reality, but rather communicating to the right person at the right time.

Honesty makes us friends, with loyalty and integrity. That is to say, good people. Obviously, people’s intentions aren’t often bad, but we should know that if we don’t tell the truth, we lose the respect of the “affected” person.

We shouldn’t make decisions for other people, because that’s actually what causes them harm. Harm that is irreversible and that breaks the laws of every solid and balanced relationship.

In fact, lying to someone deprives them of the opportunity to manage their pain and learn the lesson that they have to learn. That’s why lying is unjust and abusive.

head on shoulders

Honesty only hurts people who live in a world of lies

Honesty never hurts; what hurts is reality. But being honest is always a grand gesture, no matter who gets upset. Nevertheless, someone could prefer to live in a fantasy world, blind to reality.

However, the bad thing about lying and hiding the truth is that from that point on, thousands of truths are called into question, which breaks trust, security, and the strongest feelings of love.

In summary, truth constructs and lies destroy. We are all able to face the reality of what affects us and thus resolve any possible harm that could happen to us.

We can’t live hoping that life will be a path full of roses for us or for anyone else. We should choose to be honest and to not deprive people of the opportunity to grow and overcome the adversities and discomforts of their existence.

Ultimately, we should remember that we can’t protect someone from harm by lying. It only causes more harm in the long run.

Images courtesy of Claudia Tremblay and Christian Schloe

This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.