Time Doesn't Erase Feelings, It Helps Put Them in Their Place
Time is not going to fix your problem, nor will it erase all the feelings you’re feeling. It won’t make others forget what happened either.
It may sound harsh, but it’s true: time only helps you put things in their place, making you the protagonist of your life story.
When I read Miguel de Cervantes, who says that time offers sweet ways out of bitter situations, I can only think of time as a tool for change. In adverse situations, we can drift off course, but as the days go by we start hoping for emotional peace again.
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity”
Time is relative and uniform, and adapts to the psychology of the person thinking about it. That’s why time never erases our pain, but it does give us enough space to continue on. Sometimes we need months, in other cases years.
You are the protagonist of your story
The Argentinian genius Borges once commented that time was perhaps the best possible storyteller because it molds our life based on the feelings that arise within us at each moment, and it shapes us as people: it is the composer that brings together the work of your days and, within that work of art, you are the main protagonist.
The cushion of time we give ourselves to accept tough times is like having close friends or someone there for support. They are shoulders to lean on, and we’re very grateful for them, but they cannot live our lives for us.
“It doesn’t matter what has happened to us, what is happening to us and what could happen to us: there is a space between these things and our responses to them”
If you feel the need to turn around, you need to take the reigns of what’s happening to you and make decisions. On the other hand, if you’ve already gone through this and things are back on track, you know how much work it took.
Work probably supported by your loved ones and time too, the tapestry your actions have unfolded onto.
Each thing in its place and a place for each thing
With time and courage, you don’t erase what you felt or are feeling. They are like a tattoo you’ll have to live with. But you’ll also have to find a place for them.
Over time each thing finds its place in your heart and in your memory, remaining in you, but transformed. Despite the pain you feel if you touch that spot, it no longer paralyzes you. Rather, it reminds you of how much you’ve learned.
With this, you understand that there’s no doubting that this place, where painful things now reside, is is right. Yes, tomorrow will come, and you won’t have forgotten: the shivers, good or bad, don’t get forgotten.
However, they won’t keep hurting you if you forgive, in some cases, forgive yourself. In that case, it will be a new life lesson and the true hero will be you, not time.
Time teaches you to look at things and value them
If there is one thing that time does do, it is helping to open our eyes, take off our blindfolds and appreciate the present.
In the present, life gives us new experiences, other relationships to care for and value, different people and goals that need us.
“Over time you learn that life is here and now, and however many plans you may have, tomorrow does not exist, nor yesterday”
Plans don’t matter if we don’t take action to make them happen. We won’t make ourselves feel better if we don’t make use of our inner strength. Because time can help, but not if we leave all the work to time.
In the end, time will teach you to live life today, not yesterday or tomorrow.
The person who left because they wanted to is no longer here; the person who left even though they didn’t want to, is here; the person who hasn’t gone, wants us to be here.
And if we forget all this, our life may just pass us by.